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Tuesday, April 1, 2008

12 Things a Woman Does That Men Find Irresistible

I’ve had the privilege of dating among the most beautiful, attractive, women in the world. I’ve had the the privilege of having been in relationships with some of the best, most intelligent girlfriends in the world and also the worst, most idiotic girlfriends in the world. I’ve been in circle relationships (relationships with two or more bisexual woman) and relationships with very, very, VERY straight women.

No matter how beautiful a woman is, no matter how intelligent she is, no matter how fun she is, unless she has a balance of the list below, she will not be irresistible to a man.

I personally check mark this list when meeting a woman and so do many other higher quality men I’ve taught, conversed and interviewed. Not only do these mark off the checker, they tap into a man’s deep emotions. This is the real deal reality of the situation.

1. Sense of humor. There is not one guy I know of that doesn’t appreciate a who girl laughs at his dumb jokes simply out of a sensitive humorous bone.When a woman laughs, there is always a beam of light that comes across a guy’s face, and if the laughter is, say from a woman across the room, it has the power to make a man jealous, wanting that laughter to be for him. Humor is child-like energy and is like a billboard mounted to a woman’s forehead that says “Open Heart!” Men feel it on a gut level, it’s in the nature of polarity to men and women. I’m not talking about faking a sense of humor, because that kind of inauthenticity will throw red flags. You can always tell a person who is trying to laugh to gain some sort of approval. I’m saying a woman sensitive to humor is a great find for a man.

2. Youthfulness. This goes along with #1 because it comes from a playful heart. When I say youthfulness, I don’t necessarily mean age. What I mean is a state of being. Youth is an energy. You can tell a person who’s had it ruff from the world and who has become dead inside, and somebody who is youthful and fresh and has kept their sense of self separate from the negativity of other people’s opinions. A child playing on the play ground hasn’t been corrupted by the world yet. All she cares about is playing in the sand, swinging on the swings and having fun this moment. She is fresh. I’ve been amazed when I see 18 year old girls who feel 40, and then when I see 40 year old women who feel 18.

3. Body language. Body language is 55% of all communication (vocal tone 38%, language 7%). Hips loose and tilted a bit forward, weight on the lower back, shoulders and upper back relaxed, chest present, chin up. A smile will show a man an openness on a gut level and no smile will show him “untouchable”. It really depends on who you’re wanting to attract. Body language is like a person’s energetic pulse to the outside world telling the world if they feel good about themselves or like one is ship wrecked (the former being preferable to attracting more positivity) . Whether you love or hate her, Paris Hilton has awesome body language so if you like, check her out.

4. Emotion. The insecure man will be repulsed by an emotional woman, and the confident man will be attracted. Remember, this isn’t about faking anything, like tantrum, emotional outburst etc. etc. but rather just allowing your yin nature to flow through you. Emotion is spontaneous. The unemotional yang is attracted to its polar opposite the emotional yin by the force of magnetism.

5. Patience. A rare quality of a woman is patience. Men are grateful of a woman who is patient with them because most women are simply impatient. I’m talking about the authentic, compassionate patience that comes from being relaxed. Men, the yang masculine, is path oriented, and when a man finds a woman who is patient with his path, “two thumbs up”. Patience is also essential for man-handling (I’ll explain in future posts).

6. Self-care. Beauty, hair, skin, makeup; the superficial things men adore. They are the more outward expressions of yin energy. I once heard from a past girlfriend “there is no such thing as an ugly woman, only a lazy one.” Now where I think women go wrong in this department is they put all of their weight on physical beauty. When the leg is weak and they don’t look that great today, their entire self image is destroyed. And when they look particularly great one day, their entire self image is built around it. Here’s what I believe is needed ===> Balance, balance, balance. Put some weight onto the other leg of the inner yin as well. Physicality is only the most superficial, outward expression.

7. Intelligence. When I say intelligence, I don’t mean book intellect or street smarts. I mean the ability to be creative when the situation calls for it. I’m talking about a woman who is present and here now. You can look into her eyes and tell that she is with you right now, not zoning off into space. She can respond to the moment. This is an ability that everyone has. Everyone is intelligent. It depends heavily on how open you are to your possibilities.

8. Not needing but wanting. Guys can smell out a needy, clinging girl which usually causes them to run. the other direction. And they can also sense a girl that wants rather than needs. Being needed will stroke a guy’s ego and make him feel good, but there’s a great possibility he’ll freak out and run. Being wanted, on the other hand, will make the guy feel even better and he won’t run, he’ll feel compelled (unless he’s a dumb ass). A girl that has the self-confidence enough to want, to desire, can be sensed on very instinctual levels. A girl who is free to choose to want to be around a guy rather than needing him is pure gold. Then adventure, playfulness and challenge arise naturally. It’s a fine line between being a slave to need, or being free to want.

9. Nurturance. A man is independent, but likes to feel that he is taken care of as well. They say that every man’s life is a journey to find the happiness he once felt inside the womb of his mommy. This is simply one of the most basic female instincts and most guys want that little bit of mommy in a lover. But not too much or both can get annoyed! And just like #8, this is nurturance out of want, not out of need… a fine line indeed.

10. Sexually adventurous. Sexual repression creates angry people. Nuf’ said. ;)

11. Love. A woman filled with love in her heart is one of the most beautiful things. She becomes fearless and hatred falls away. A woman who sees the world through loving eyes holds no enemies even if people dislike her. Love is not weak, it is power. This comes from meditation on the heart. Love arises out of relaxation and when that restlessness of needing approval falls away. Then love, most importantly self-love, comes up without having to do anything. Watch out for the guilt. Loving without any reason can trigger limiting thinking.

12. Integrity. A woman who has real values and sticks to them is like a beacon of light. I have been with enough women to know that most women are pushed and pulled by the wind at every moment. They have little security in life. This can be a good thing but from my experience it’s done in an ill, dirty way. There becomes no stability to her at all and she lives life in the soap opera world. Integrity creates some sanity. Integrity is one of the few things you came into the world with, and its one of the easiest things to take for granted and sell for sparkly looking things.

Security is good, But too many walls and you lose the freedom of Yin. It’s a delicate balance. Here’s a simple list I suggest and follow myself:

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