When you travel, you may think that if you don’t know the language, you can just communicate using gestures. BZZT! Knowing what gestures and body language mean in foreign countries can mean the difference between making friends and getting beaten up and it’s all too easy to make mistakes. Take the quiz to find out how much you know about body language, gestures and foreign customs:
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
International Body Language, Gestures & Manners: Don’t Be “That Guy!”
Announcements : Truth about cancer - everyone should know.
Truth about cancer. - this post has been credited to John Hopkins although I understand they deny it.Announcements : Truth about cancer - everyone should know.
1. Every person has cancer cells in the body. These cancer cells do not show
up in the standard tests until they have multiplied to a few billion.When
doctors tell cancer patients that there are no more cancer cells in their
bodies after treatment, it just means the tests are unable to detect the cancer
cells because they have not reached the detectable size.
2. Cancer cells occur between 6 to more than 10 times in a person's
lifetime.
3. When the person's immune system is strong the cancer cells will be
destroyed and prevented from multiplying and forming tumours.
4. When a person has cancer it indicates the person has multiple nutritional
deficiencies. These could be due to genetic, environmental, food and
lifestyle factors.
5. To overcome the multiple nutritional deficiencies, changing diet and
including supplements will strengthen the immune system.
6. Chemotherapy involves poisoning the rapidly-growing cancer cells and also
destroys rapidly-growing healthy cells in the bone
marrow, gastro-intestinal tract etc, and can cause organ damage, like liver,
kidneys, heart, lungs etc.
7. Radiation while destroying cancer cells also burns, scars and damages
healthy cells, tissues and organs.
8. Initial treatment with chemotherapy and radiation will often reduce tumor
size. However prolonged use of chemotherapy and radiation do not result in
more tumor destruction.
9. When the body has too much toxic burden from chemotherapy and radiation
the immune system is either compromised or destroyed, hence the person can
succumb to various kinds of infections and complications.
10. Chemotherapy and radiation can cause cancer cells to mutate and become
resistant and difficult to destroy. Surgery can also cause cancer cells to
spread to other sites.
11. An effective way to battle cancer is to starve the cancer cells by not
feeding it with the foods it needs to multiply.
CANCER CELLS FEED ON:
a. Sugar is a cancer-feeder. By cutting off sugar it cuts off one important
food supply to the cancer cells. Sugar substitutes like
NutraSweet, Equal, Spoonful, etc are made with Aspartame and it is harmful.
A better natural substitute would be Manuka honey or molasses but only in
very small amounts. Table salt has a chemical added to make it white in colour.
Better alternative is Bragg's aminos or sea salt.
b. Milk causes the body to produce mucus, especially in the
gastro-intestinal tract. Cancer feeds on mucus. By cutting off milk and substituting with
unsweetened soya milk cancer cells are being starved.
c. Cancer cells thrive in an acid environment. A meat-based diet is acidic
and it is best to eat fish, and a little chicken rather than beef or pork.
Meat also contains livestock antibiotics, growth hormones and parasites, which
are all harmful, especially to people with cancer.
d. A diet made of 80% fresh vegetables and juice, whole grains, seeds, nuts
and a little fruits help put the body into an alkaline environment. About 20%
can be from cooked food including beans. Fresh vegetable juices provide live
enzymes that are easily absorbed and reach down to cellular levels within 15
minutes to nourish and enhance growth of healthy cells. To obtain live
enzymes for building healthy cells try and drink fresh vegetable juice (most
vegetables including bean sprouts) and eat some raw vegetables 2 or 3 times a day.
Enzymes are destroyed at temperatures of 104 degrees F (40 degrees C).
e. Avoid coffee, tea, and chocolate, which have high caffeine. Green tea is
a better alternative and has cancer-fighting properties. Water-best to drink
purified water, or filtered, to avoid known toxins and heavy metals in tap
water. Distilled water is acidic, avoid it.
12. Meat protein is difficult to digest and requires a lot of digestive
enzymes. Undigested meat remaining in the intestines become putrified and leads
to more toxic buildup.
13. Cancer cell walls have a tough protein covering. By refraining from or
eating less meat it frees more enzymes to attack the protein walls of cancer
cells and allows the body's killer cells to destroy the cancer cells.
14. Some supplements build up the immune system (IP6, Flor-ssence, Essiac,
anti-oxidants, vitamins, minerals, EFAs etc.) to enable the body's own killer
cells to destroy cancer cells. Other supplements like vitamin E are known to
cause apoptosis, or programmed cell death, the body's normal method of
disposing of damaged, unwanted, or unneeded cells.
15. Cancer is a disease of the mind, body, and spirit. A proactive and
positive spirit will help the cancer warrior be a survivor. Anger, unforgiveness
and bitterness put the body into a stressful and acidic environment. Learn to
have a loving and forgiving spirit. Learn to relax and enjoy life.
16. Cancer cells cannot thrive in an oxygenated environment. Exercising
daily, and deep breathing help to get more oxygen down to the cellular level.
Oxygen therapy is another means employed to destroy cancer cells.
CANCER UPDATE FROM JOHN HOPKINS HOSPITAL , U S - PLEASE READ
1. No plastic containers in micro.
2. No water bottles in freezer.
3. No plastic wrap in microwave.
This information is being circulated at Walter Reed Army Medical Center as well. Dioxin chemicals causes cancer, especially breast cancer. Dioxins are highly poisonous to the cells of our bodies. Don't freeze your plastic bottles with water in them as this releases dioxins from the plastic.
Recently, Dr. Edward Fujimoto, Wellness Program Manager at Castle Hospital ,
was on a TV program to explain this health hazard. He talked about dioxins
and how bad they are for us. He said that we should not be heating our food in
the microwave using plastic containers.
This especially applies to foods that contain fat.
He said that the combination of fat, high heat, and plastics releases dioxin
into the food and ultimately into the cells of the body.
Instead, he recommends using glass, such as Corning Ware, Pyrex or ceramic
containers for heating food. You get the same results, only without the
dioxin. So such things as TV dinners, instant ramen and soups, etc., should be
removed from the container and heated in something else.
Paper isn't bad but you don't know what is in the paper. It's just safer to
use tempered glass, Corning Ware, etc. He reminded us that a while ago some
of the fast food restaurants moved away from the foam containers to paper. The
dioxin problem is one of the reasons.
Also, he pointed out that plastic wrap, such as Saran, is just as dangerous
when placed over foods to be cooked in the microwave. As the food is nuked,
the high heat causes poisonous toxins to actually melt out of the plastic wrap
and drip into the food. Cover food with a paper towel instead.
This is an article that should be sent to anyone important in your life
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green:easy
green:easyTo recycle is good; to reuse, divine. It’s great to recycle your newspaper, but if you can find a way to use it around your house, even better. Here are a few ideas for putting old newspapers to use:
1. Use them to wash windows. Make a spray of a 1/4 cup of vinegar and a quart or so of water, spray onto your windows or mirrors, and wipe with a sheet of crumpled newspaper. You’ll get a perfect, lint-free shine.
2. Packing material. If you are planning a move, or sending gifts through the mail, shred up some newspaper and use it as packing material in your boxes.
3. Add it to your compost pile. Newspaper counts as a “brown” in your compost pile. It adds carbon, and does a great job of drying out a compost pile that’s gotten a little too wet. Just rip it into strips and bury it in your pile. It will break down in no time.
4. Kill grass to make new garden beds. Simply lay three to four layers of newspaper over the grass, wet it down, and cover it with leaves, grass clippings, straw, compost or any other organic materials you have lying around. It will break down, kill the grass, and give you a perfect spot to plant. If you do this in the fall, you’ll have a bed ready for spring planting.
5. Use them to protect your tables when the kids work on craft projects. They’re free, absorbent, and plentiful—perfect if you have little crafters.
6. When hanging photos or artwork, make a template out of newspaper and tape it to the wall to get your placement right. This way, you won’t end up with a bunch of nail holes in your wall if you have to adjust the placement.
7. Use them as dropcloths when painting a room.
8. Wrap presents with them. If the recipient is into politics, or sports, or books, try using those particular pages of the newspaper to really personalize the wrapping.
9. Ball them up, and use them as filler in the bottom of large container plantings. It will save soil, make the container lighter and easier to move, and break down over time. Since it will settle, this is a better solution for containers that will be done in a season or so rather than a permanent planting.
10. Have a new puppy? ‘Nuff said.
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The 86 Rules of Drinking
1. If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during Happy Hour.The 86 Rules of Drinking
2. Always toast before doing a shot.
3. Whoever buys the shot gets the first chance to offer a toast.
4. Change your toast at least once a month.
5. Buying someone a drink is five times better than a handshake.
6. Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb.
7. Never borrow more than one cigarette from the same person in one night.
8. When the bartender is slammed, resist the powerful urge to order a slightly-dirty,
very-dry, in-and-out, super-chilled half-and-half martini with a lemon twist. Limit
orders to beer, straight shots and two-part cocktails.
9. Get the bartender's attention with eye contact and a smile.
10. Do not make eye contact with the bartender if you do not want a drink.
11. Unacceptable things to say after doing a shot:
Great, now I'm going to get drunk.
I hate shots.
It's coming back up.
12. Never, ever tell a bartender he made your drink too strong.
13. If he makes it too weak, order a double next time. He'll get the message.
14. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she refuses, she does not like you.
15. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she accepts, she still might not like you.
16. If she buys you a drink, she likes you.
17. If someone offers to buy you a drink, do not upgrade your liquor preference.
18. Always have a corkscrew in your house.
19. If you don't have a corkscrew, push the cork down into the bottle with a pen.
20. Drink one girly drink in public, and you will forever be known as the guy who
drinks girly drinks.
21. Our parents were better drinkers than we are.
22. Never talk to someone in the restroom unless you're doing the same thing -
urinating, waiting in line or washing your hands.
23. Girls hang out, apply make-up, and have long talks in the bathroom.
Men do not.
24. After your sixth drink, do not look at yourself in the mirror. It will shake
your confidence.
25. It is only permissible to shout 'woo-hoo!' if you are doing a shot with four or
more people.
26. If there is a DJ, you can request a song only once per night. If he doesn't play it
within half an hour, don't approach him again. If he does play it, don't approach him again.
27. Learn how to make a rose out of a bar napkin. You'll be surprised how well it works.
28. If you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to drink in a bar. Go to the liquor store.
29. If you owe someone twenty dollars or less, you may pay them back in beer.
30. Never complain about the quality or brand of a free drink.
31. If you have been roommates with someone more than six months, you may drink all
their beer, even if it's hidden, as long as you leave them one.
32. You can have a shot of their hard liquor only if the cap has been cracked and the
bottle goes for less than $25.
33. The only thing that tastes better than free liquor is stolen liquor.
34. If you bring Old Milwaukee to a party, you must drink at least 2 cans before you
start drinking the imported beer in the fridge.
35. Learn to appreciate hangovers. If it was all good times every jackass would
be doing it.
36. If you ever feel depressed, get out a bartender's guide and browse thru
all the drinks you've never tried.
37. Try one new drink each week.
38. If you're the bar's sole customer, you are obliged to make small talk with the
bartender until he stops acknowledging you. Then you're off the hook.
The same goes for him.
39. Never tip with coins that have touched you. If your change is $1.50, you can tell
the barmaid to keep the change, but, once she has handed it to you, you cannot give it back.
To a bartender or cocktail waitress, small change has no value.
40. If you have ever told a bartender, "Hey, it all spends the same," then you are
a cheap ass.
41. Anyone on stage or behind a bar is fifty percent better looking.
42. You can tell how hard a drinker someone is by how close they keep their drink
to their mouth.
43. A bar is a college, not a nursery. If you spill a beer, clean it up. If you break
a glass, wait for a staff member to clean it up, then blame it on someone else.
44. Being drunk is feeling sophisticated without being able to say it.
45. It's okay to drink alone.
46. After three drinks, you will forget a woman's name two seconds after she
tells you. The rest of the night you will call her "baby" or "darling".
47. Nothing screams 'Gay' louder than swirling an oversized brandy snifter.
48. Men don't drink from straws. Unless you're doing a Mind or Face Eraser.
49. If you do a shot, finish it. If you don't plan to finish it, don't accept it.
50. Never brood in a dance bar. Never dance in a dive bar.
51. Never play more than three songs by the same artist in a row.
52. Your songs will come on as you're leaving the bar.
53. Never yell out jukebox selections to someone you don't know.
54. Never lie in a bar. You may, however, grossly exaggerate and lean.
55. If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you
think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English.
56. Screaming, "Someone buy me a drink!" has never worked.
57. For every drink, there is a five percent better chance you will get in a fight.
There is also a three percent better chance you will lose the fight.
58. Fighting an extremely drunk person when you are sober is hilarious.
59. If you're broke and a friend is "sporting you", you must laugh at all his jokes
and play wingman when he makes his move.
60. If you're broke and a friend is "ragging on you", you may steal any drink he
leaves unattended.
61. Never rest your head on a table or bar top. It is the equivalent of voluntarily
putting your head on a chopping block.
62. If you are trading rounds with a friend and he asks if you're ready for another,
always say "Yes". Once you fall out of sync you will end up buying
more drinks than him.
63. If you're going to hit on a member of the bar staff, make sure you tip well
before and after, regardless of her response.
64. The people with the most money are rarely the best tippers.
65. Before you die, single-handedly make one decent martini.
66. Asking a bartender what beers are on tap when the handles are right in front
of you is the equivalent of saying, "I'm an idiot."
67. Never ask a bartender "What's good tonight?" They do not fly in the scotch
fresh from the coast every morning.
68. If there is a line for drinks, get your damn drink and step the hell away from the bar.
69. If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours.
70. The patrons at your local bar are your extended family, your father, hers, your
brothers and sisters. Except you get to sleep with these sisters. And if you're really
drunk, the mothers.
71. It's acceptable, traditional, in fact, to disappear during a night of hard drinking.
You will appear mysterious, and your friends will understand. If they even notice.
72. Never argue your tab at the end of the night. Remember, you're hammered, and they're
sober. It's akin to a precocious five-year-old arguing the super-string theory with a
physicist. 99.9% of the time you're wrong and, either way, you're going to come off
as a jackass.
73. If you bring booze to a party, you must drink it or leave it.
74. If you hesitate more than three seconds after the bartender looks at you, you do not
deserve a drink.
75. Beer makes you mellow, champagne makes you silly, wine makes you dramatic, tequila
makes you felonious.
76. The greatest thing a drunkard can do is buy a round of drinks for a packed bar.
77. Never preface a conversation with a bartender with "I know this is going to
be a hassle, but . . ."
78. When you're in a bar and drunk, your boss is just another guy begging for a
fat lip. Unless he's buying.
79. If you are 86'd, do not return for at least three months. To come back sooner makes it
appear no other bar wants you.
80. Anyone with three or more drinks in his hands has the right of way.
81. If you're going to drink on the job, drink vodka. It's the no-tell liquor.
82. There's nothing wrong with drinking before noon. Especially if you're supposed to be
at work.
83. The bar clock moves twice as fast from midnight to last call.
84. A flask engraved with a personal message is one of the best gifts you can ever give.
And make sure there's something in it.
85. On the intimacy scale, sharing a quiet drink is between a handshake and a kiss.
86. You will forget everyone of of these rules by your fifth drink. and a kiss.86. You will forget everyone of of these rules by your fifth drink.
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14 Healthy Beverages – Benefits of Pomegranate Juice, Green Tea, Water, and Whey Protein Shakes
14 Healthy Beverages – Benefits of Pomegranate Juice, Green Tea, Water, and Whey Protein ShakesLately, it seems like just about any store you enter claims to be offering healthy, natural, "green," or organic beverages to the health-conscious consumer. The problem is, a lot of manufacturers simply hide behind those healthy-sounding buzzwords while selling you the same old heart-stopping junk packed with sugar and high-fructose corn syrup. So what's a beleaguered beverage buyer to do? Fear not, for despite all the marketing hype, there aremany beverages that boost your health! Here are 14 of them.
1) Milk
That's right. Even with millions of dollars in marketing money behind new-age drinks with names you can hardly pronounce, there's no denying the health value of good old milk. An all-around good source of energy and protein, milk is also bursting with bone-strengthening calcium that doctors call vital in preventing arthritis and osteoporosis. If your hands, joints, or even your teeth aren't as strong as you or your doctor would like them to be, it's hard to beat the instant calcium injection a daily glass of milk or two can provide!
2) Naked Juice
Naked Juice is a relatively new brand of all-natural fruit drinks that have no added sugar or health-killing preservatives. In recent years this wellness-enhancing drink has seen considerable notoriety, including being acquired by PepsiCo and sold to consumers at Starbucks locations. Many of its drinks are exceptionally high in immune system-aiding antioxidants, and with flavors ranging from berry blast to strawberry banana to pomegranate, virtually everyone is sure to find a Naked Juice they'll enjoy! Of course you could drink fresh fruit juice but that's no substitute for Naked Juice, which offers much more and shouldn't be overlooked.
3) Wine
Everyone knows the occasional glass of wine offers some health benefits, but there may be even more than we previously knew existed. An exciting study conducted by University Hospital of Zurich researchers has uncovered a potentially huge breakthrough in how moderate, mealtime alcohol consumption benefits our bodies. According to the study, wine consumed around mealtime "reduces the proliferation of smooth muscle cells (SMC) within the arteries. SMC growth is a key element in the development of atherosclerosis, which commonly leads to heart attacks and strokes." Now, clearly this isn't meant to endorse binge drinking or alcoholism, but it should give you one more reason to enjoy a casual wine with your supper!
SRC: http://www.beekmanwine.com/prevtopab.htm
4) Green Tea
Green tea is such a healthy drink that the Chinese have actually used it for medicinal purposes for thousands of years. And far from being a cultural superstition or affectation, hard evidence is showing why green tea relied on for so long. A 1994 study by the Journal of the National Cancer Institute displayed a clear link between green tea consumption and a lower risk of esophageal cancer in Chinese men and women by as much as 60 percent! Other researchers have identified links between green tea consumption and slowed growth of malignant cancer cells. Clearly, this is one beverage you should chug down as often as possible!
SRC:http://chinesefood.about.com/library/weekly/aa011400a.htm
5) Ginkgo Biloba Tea
Long hailed as a potent health-boosting supplement, Ginkgo can now be consumed in tea form! Health benefits to drinkers include improved memory due to an increase of blood flow to the brain, which has been proven to take place by controlled, double-blind tests. More oxygen to the brain offers many other benefits, including greater ability to focus, a longer attention span, and the overall feeling that you are more awake than normal
6) Pomegranate Juice
For many years, pomegranate juice was the "dirty little secret" of the healthy beverage realm: it has many health benefits to offer, but few people following through and reaping them. Recently, that's all changed with a number of magazine articles and press coverage about just how healthy - and delicious - pomegranate juice is. The primary health benefit is a significant - up to 40 percent - increase in the output of blood from your heart to the rest of your body. Since this is one of the most fundamental bodily functions that takes place, a boost here effectively boosts almost everything else a person could do!
SRC:Men's Health
7) Whey Protein Shakes
A longtime favorite of bodybuilders, whey or soy protein shakes can be tastily enjoyed by anyone! The Internet is literally bursting with recipes, including chocolate peanut butter and strawberry banana, of the different shakes you can make with your favorite powdered protein and common household food items. The best thing about whey protein shakes, though, is that whey penetrates through to your bloodstream faster than any other protein does. So if you're looking for a nice jolt that'll take effect within the hour, a nice, cold whey protein shake could be right up your alley!
8) Orange-Mint Iced Tea
If you already like iced tea, why not rocket its health boosting properties into the stratosphere with this ultra-healthy recipe?
- 6 tea bags
- 2 tablespoons sugar
- 12 sprigs of fresh mint, divided
- 1 1/4 cups orange juice
- juice of 1/2 lemon or lime
- 1/2 lemon, sliced
- 1/2 orange, seeded and sliced
All the fruit and citrus in this drink will pack a decisive knockout punch to any cold bugs or viruses that dare to challenge your immune system. For more details on preparing it, see the following link.
SRC:http://sneakykitchen.com/Recipes/orange_mint_iced_tea.htm
9) Water
It seems obvious, but the fact is, too many of us drink tragically little water relative to how important it is to our bodily functioning. The health benefits of water are staggering in number, including cleaner screen, improved digestion, better hydration, enhanced alkaline retention, reduction of headaches, and much, much more. Still not convinced that water is absolutely vital to your quest for ideal health? Consider this:
- Bone is 22 percent water
- The brain is 74 percent water
- Muscles are 75 percent water
- Blood is 83 percent water
SRC:http://www.betterwayhealth.com/drinking-water.asp
10) Cranberry Juice
If tart yet delicious red fruits are a guilty pleasure of yours, cranberry juice is one you can feel a little less guilty about! Among its many immune system fortifying properties are the prevention of urinary tract infections and respiratory infections, the delay of ear infections, and a special strain that stops bacteria from sticking to red blood cells. According to one study, "it seemed that the juice inhibited the bacteria's pili, the hair-like structures that allow them to adhere to surfaces. The juice had no effect on strains of Haemophilus influenzae that lacked pili."
So if you like cranberries, drink up!
SRC:http://www.health-doc.com/healtharticles/cranberry-juice.html
11) Orange Juice
Another time-tested favorite, orange juice is positively packed with citrus and beneficial acids that protect your immune system like an alligator-filled mote around an ancient castle. The health benefits of orange juice are magnified when you drink it while healthy, as the vitamins and minerals can burrow deep into your bloodstream without having a cold or stomach bug to deal with. Not coincidentally, this greatly reduces your chances of getting sick with one of those things!
12) Ginger Ale
We know what you're thinking. "What the heck is a soda doing on this list?!" But believe it or not, ginger ale actually has several important health benefits! For one, there's almost nothing better to drink if your stomach is upset or you're having trouble digesting food. Additionally, the ginger in ginger ale has natural and strong anti-inflammatory properties, a major benefit to anyone with arthritis or chronic muscle pain. If you're looking to drink healthy but would rather ease into the process than drastically change your intake overnight, ginger ale might be worth a shot!
13) Vitamin Water
Offering proof that a mass-market drink available in gas stations can, indeed, be healthy, Vitamin Water is a shining example of a drink that's both tasty and healthy. It's available in about a dozen flavors (from fruit punch to grape to green tea) and each flavor packs a different medley of vitamins and minerals. Prepare for an intense yet delicious surge of Vitamin C, Vitamin A, Taurine, Calcium, and Lutein, depending on the flavor you choose!
SRC:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glac%C3%A9au#Flavors
14) True Lemon
Everybody loves lemonade, but not every mouth-watering glass of it was created equally. Most of the store-bought mixes you buy are packed with preservatives and high-fructose corn syrup. Yikes! Fortunately, there is an alternative: True Lemon, a lemonade drink with 0 calories, 0g of carbs, no sugar or artificial sweeteners, and absolutely no preservatives or sodium. If you want to keep the familiar yummy taste of lemonade as you drink healthier, this is definitely the way to go!
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How to Tell if Your Career is Right for You · LifeReboot.com
How to Tell if Your Career is Right for You · LifeReboot.comWhen someone asks you what you do for a living, how do you respond?
I’m not asking for your job title. I’m asking how do you act when you tell someone your job title? Do you respond with eagerness and pride, or with reluctance and shame?
The way you act in response to this common inquiry makes it easy to tell if your career is right for you.
I recently remembered a bit of advice I received from someone years ago, during one of my routine stops as a computer professional. My boss, intent on making friends with his new neighbor, sent me to this gentleman’s house to resolve a personal computer problem.
Though don’t remember his name or what I did for him, I vividly remember how I left this man’s home that day having learned an important life lesson. I say this because during my visit, we talked about my life. After exhausting the subjects of school, work, and religion, he asked me if I had a girlfriend.
Apparently I shot him a huge smile before saying “Yes.” The next thing he said was unforgettable: “I think you must be in love, ’cause that’s the first time you smiled since you walked through my door.”
It’s true. My girlfriend made me so happy that even the slightest thought about her caused me to start grinning uncontrollably. I was clearly in love with her.
Why is this relevant? Because my job never made me smile. I was in that line of work for the wrong reasons and it wasn’t until recently that I understood the significance of what he told me: I wasn’t in love with my job.
It was a job I was working so I’d have something impressive to say when someone asked me what I did for a living. It was a job I was working to make my parents proud. It was a job I was working to pay the bills.
That was over three years ago. Since then, I’ve left the computer industry to pursue my dream career as a writer. Though there are times when it’s hard to tell if my new career is “right” for me, there are other times when the answer is crystal clear:
A few minutes into my trim at the local barber shop, the barber asked “So what do you do for a living?” Consequently, the most overwhelming deja vu of my life came over me as I began to grin uncontrollably.
“I’m a writer,” I explained through my expression.
“Oh really? Do you like it?”
With an abundance of certainty, I said — “I love it.”
And at that moment, I understood my career is right for me because I am in love with my career. Shouldn’t everyone be?
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Profile of the Sociopath
Profile of the SociopathThis website summarizes some of the common features of descriptions of the behavior of sociopaths.
- Glibness and Superficial Charm
- Manipulative and Conning
They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.- Grandiose Sense of Self
Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."- Pathological Lying
Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.- Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.- Shallow Emotions
When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.- Incapacity for Love
- Need for Stimulation
Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.- Callousness/Lack of Empathy
Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.- Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.- Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.- Irresponsibility/Unreliability
Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.- Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts.- Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.- Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily.
Other Related Qualities:
- Contemptuous of those who seek to understand them
- Does not perceive that anything is wrong with them
- Authoritarian
- Secretive
- Paranoid
- Only rarely in difficulty with the law, but seeks out situations where their tyrannical behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired
- Conventional appearance
- Goal of enslavement of their victim(s)
- Exercises despotic control over every aspect of the victim's life
- Has an emotional need to justify their crimes and therefore needs their victim's affirmation (respect, gratitude and love)
- Ultimate goal is the creation of a willing victim
- Incapable of real human attachment to another
- Unable to feel remorse or guilt
- Extreme narcissism and grandiose
- May state readily that their goal is to rule the world
(The above traits are based on the psychopathy checklists of H. Cleckley and R. Hare.)
NOTE: In the 1830's this disorder was called "moral insanity." By 1900 it was changed to "psychopathic personality." More recently it has been termed "antisocial personality disorder" in the DSM-III and DSM-IV. Some critics have complained that, in the attempt to rely only on 'objective' criteria, the DSM has broadened the concept to include too many individuals. The APD category includes people who commit illegal, immoral or self-serving acts for a variety of reasons and are not necessarily psychopaths.
DSM-IV Definition
Antisocial personality disorder is characterized by a lack of regard for the moral or legal standards in the local culture. There is a marked inability to get along with others or abide by societal rules. Individuals with this disorder are sometimes called psychopaths or sociopaths.
Diagnostic Criteria (DSM-IV)
1. Since the age of fifteen there has been a disregard for and violation of the right's of others, those right's considered normal by the local culture, as indicated by at least three of the following:
A. Repeated acts that could lead to arrest.
B. Conning for pleasure or profit, repeated lying, or the use of aliases.
C. Failure to plan ahead or being impulsive.
D. Repeated assaults on others.
E. Reckless when it comes to their or others safety.
F. Poor work behavior or failure to honor financial obligations.
G. Rationalizing the pain they inflict on others.
2. At least eighteen years in age.
3. Evidence of a Conduct Disorder, with its onset before the age of fifteen.
4. Symptoms not due to another mental disorder.
Antisocial Personality Disorder Overview (Written by Derek Wood, RN, BSN, PhD Candidate)
Antisocial Personality Disorder results in what is commonly known as a Sociopath. The criteria for this disorder require an ongoing disregard for the rights of others, since the age of 15 years. Some examples of this disregard are reckless disregard for the safety of themselves or others, failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors, deceitfulness such as repeated lying or deceit for personal profit or pleasure, and lack of remorse for actions that hurt other people in any way. Additionally, they must have evidenced a Conduct Disorder before the age of 15 years, and must be at least 18 years old to receive this diagnosis.
People with this disorder appear to be charming at times, and make relationships, but to them, these are relationships in name only. They are ended whenever necessary or when it suits them, and the relationships are without depth or meaning, including marriages. They seem to have an innate ability to find the weakness in people, and are ready to use these weaknesses to their own ends through deceit, manipulation, or intimidation, and gain pleasure from doing so.
They appear to be incapable of any true emotions, from love to shame to guilt. They are quick to anger, but just as quick to let it go, without holding grudges. No matter what emotion they state they have, it has no bearing on their future actions or attitudes.
They rarely are able to have jobs that last for any length of time, as they become easily bored, instead needing constant change. They live for the moment, forgetting the past, and not planning the future, not thinking ahead what consequences their actions will have. They want immediate rewards and gratification. There currently is no form of psychotherapy that works with those with antisocial personality disorder, as those with this disorder have no desire to change themselves, which is a prerequisite. No medication is available either. The only treatment is the prevention of the disorder in the early stages, when a child first begins to show the symptoms of conduct disorder.
THE PSYCHOPATH NEXT DOOR (Source: http://chericola57.tripod.com/infinite.html)
Psychopath. We hear the word and images of Bernardo, Manson and Dahmer pop into our heads; no doubt Ted Bundy too. But they're the bottom of the barrel -- most of the two million psychopaths in North America aren't murderers. They're our friends, lovers and co-workers. They're outgoing and persuasive, dazzling you with charm and flattery. Often you aren't even aware they've taken you for a ride -- until it's too late.
Psychopaths exhibit a Jekyll and Hyde personality. "They play a part so they can get what they want," says Dr. Sheila Willson, a Toronto psychologist who has helped victims of psychopaths. The guy who showers a woman with excessive attention is much more capable of getting her to lend him money, and to put up with him when he strays. The new employee who gains her co-workers' trust has more access to their chequebooks. And so on. Psychopaths have no conscience and their only goal is self-gratification. Many of us have been their victims -- at work, through friendships or relationships -- and not one of us can say, "a psychopath could never fool me."
Think you can spot one? Think again. In general, psychopaths aren't the product of broken homes or the casualties of a materialistic society. Rather they come from all walks of life and there is little evidence that their upbringing affects them. Elements of a psychopath's personality first become evident at a very early age, due to biological or genetic factors. Explains Michael Seto, a psychologist at the Centre for Addiction and Mental health in Toronto, by the time that a person hits their late teens, the disorder is almost certainly permanent. Although many clinicians use the terms psychopath and sociopath interchangeably, writes psychopath expert Robert Hare on his book 'Without Conscience', a sociopath's criminal behavior is shaped by social forces and is the result of a dysfunctional environment.
Psychopaths have only a shallow range of emotions and lack guilt, says Hare. They often see themselves as victims, and lack remorse or the ability to empathize with others. "Psychopaths play on the fact that most of us are trusting and forgiving people," adds Seto. The warning signs are always there; it's just difficult to see them because once we trust someone, the friendship becomes a blinder.
Even lovers get taken for a ride by psychopaths. For a psychopath, a romantic relationship is just another opportunity to find a trusting partner who will buy into the lies. It's primarily why a psychopath rarely stays in a relationship for the long term, and often is involved with three or four partners at once, says Willson. To a psychopath, everything about a relationship is a game. Willson refers to the movie 'Sliding Doors' to illustrate her point. In the film, the main character comes home early after just having been fired from her job. Only moments ago, her boyfriend has let another woman out the front door. But in a matter of minutes he is the attentive and concerned boyfriend, taking her out to dinner and devoting the entire night to comforting her. All the while he's planning to leave the next day on a trip with the other woman.
The boyfriend displays typical psychopathic characteristics because he falsely displays deep emotion toward the relationship, says Willson. In reality, he's less concerned with his girlfriend's depression than with making sure she's clueless about the other woman's existence. In the romance department, psychopaths have an ability to gain your affection quickly, disarming you with words, intriguing you with grandiose plans. If they cheat you'll forgive them, and one day when they've gone too far, they'll leave you with a broken heart (and an empty wallet). By then they'll have a new player for their game.
The problem with their game is that we don't often play by their rules. Where we might occasionally tell a white lie, a psychopath's lying is compulsive. Most of us experience some degree of guilt about lying, preventing us from exhibiting such behavior on a regular basis. "Psychopaths don't discriminate who it is they lie to or cheat," says Seto. "There's no distinction between friend, family and sucker."
No one wants to be the sucker, so how do we prevent ourselves from becoming close friends or getting into a relationship with a psychopath? It's really almost impossible, say Seto and Willson. Unfortunately, laments Seto, one way is to become more suspicious and less trusting of others. Our tendency is to forgive when we catch a loved one in a lie. "Psychopaths play on this fact," he says. "However, I'm certainly not advocating a world where if someone lies once or twice, you never speak to them again." What you can do is look at how often someone lies and how they react when caught. Psychopaths will lie over and over again, and where other people would sincerely apologize, a psychopath may apologize but won't stop.
Psychopaths also tend to switch jobs as frequently as they switch partners, mainly because they don't have the qualities to maintain a job for the long haul. Their performance is generally erratic, with chronic absences, misuse of company resources and failed commitments. Often they aren't even qualified for the job and use fake credentials to get it. Seto talks of a patient who would get marketing jobs based on his image; he was a presentable and charming man who layered his conversations with educational and occupational references. But it became evident that the man hadn't a clue what he was talking about, and was unable to hold down a job.
How do you make sure you don't get fooled when you're hiring someone to baby-sit your child or for any other job? Hire based on reputation and not image, says Willson. Check references thoroughly. Psychopaths tend to give vague and inconsistent replies. Of course the best way to solve this problem would be to cure psychopaths of their 'illness.' But there's no recipe for treating them, say psychiatrists. Today's traditional methods of psychotherapy (psychoanalysis, group and one-on-one therapy) and drug treatments have failed. Therapy is more likely to work when an individual admits there's a problem and wants to change. The common problem with psychopaths, says Sets, "Is they don't see a problem with their behavior."
Psychopaths don't seek therapy willingly, says Seto. Rather, they're pushed into it by a desperate relative or by a court order. To a psychopath, a therapist is just one more person who must be conned, and the psychopath plays the part right until the therapist is convinced of his or her 'rehabilitation.'
Even though we can't treat psychopaths effectively with therapy, it doesn't mean we can't protect ourselves, writes Hare. Willson agrees, citing the most important factor in keeping psychopaths at bay is to know your vulnerabilities. We need to "realize our own potential and maximize our strengths" so that our insecurities don't overcome us. Because, she says, a psychopath is a chameleon who becomes "an image of what you haven't done for yourself." Over time, she says, "their appearance of perfection will begin to crack," but by that time you will have been emotionally and perhaps financially scathed. There comes a time when you realize there's no point in searching for answers; the only thing is to move on.
Taken in part from MW -- By Caroline Konrad -- September 1999
THE MALIGNANT PERSONALITY:
These people are mentally ill and extremely dangerous! The following precautions will help to protect you from the destructive acts of which they are capable.
First, to recognize them, keep the following guidelines in mind.
(1) They are habitual liars. They seem incapable of either knowing or telling the truth about anything.
(2) They are egotistical to the point of narcissism. They really believe they are set apart from the rest of humanity by some special grace.
(3) They scapegoat; they are incapable of either having the insight or willingness to accept responsibility for anything they do. Whatever the problem, it is always someone else's fault.
(4) They are remorselessly vindictive when thwarted or exposed.
(5) Genuine religious, moral, or other values play no part in their lives. They have no empathy for others and are capable of violence. Under older psychological terminology, they fall into the category of psychopath or sociopath, but unlike the typical psychopath, their behavior is masked by a superficial social facade.
If you have come into conflict with such a person or persons, do the following immediately!
(1) Notify your friends and relatives of what has happened.
Do not be vague. Name names, and specify dates and circumstances. Identify witnesses if possible and provide supporting documentation if any is available.
(2) Inform the police. The police will do nothing with this information except to keep it on file, since they are powerless to act until a crime has been committed. Unfortunately, that often is usually too late for the victim. Nevertheless, place the information in their hands.
Obviously, if you are assaulted or threatened before witnesses, you can get a restraining order, but those are palliative at best.
(3) Local law enforcement agencies are usually under pressure if wealthy or politically powerful individuals are involved, so include state and federal agencies as well and tell the locals that you have. In my own experience, one agency that can help in a pinch is the Criminal Investigation Division of the Internal Revenue Service or (in Canada) Victims Services at your local police unit. It is not easy to think of the IRS as a potential friend, but a Swedish study showed that malignant types (the Swedes called them bullies) usually commit some felony or other by the age of twenty. If the family is wealthy, the fact may never come to light, but many felonies involve tax evasion, and in such cases, the IRS is interested indeed. If large amounts of money are involved, the IRS may solve all your problems for you. For obvious reasons the Drug Enforcement Agency may also be an appropriate agency to approach. The FBI is an important agency to contact, because although the FBI does not have jurisdiction over murder or assault, if informed, they do have an active interest in any other law enforcement agencies that do not follow through with an honest investigation and prosecution should a murder occur. Civil rights are involved at that point. No local crooked lawyer, judge, or corrupt police official wants to be within a country mile if that comes to light! It is in such cases that wealthy psychopaths discover just how firm the "friends" they count on to cover up for them really are! Even some of the drug cartel biggies will scuttle for cover if someone picks up the brick their thugs hide under. Exposure is bad for business.
(4) Make sure that several of your friends have the information in the event something happens to you. That way, an appropriate investigation will follow if you are harmed. Don't tell other people who has the information, because then something bad could happen to them as well. Instruct friends to take such an incident to the newspapers and other media.
If you are dealing with someone who has considerable money, you must realize that they probably won't try to harm you themselves, they will contract with someone to make the hit. The malignant type is a coward and will not expose himself or herself to personal danger if he or she can avoid it.
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