arfur's profile - StumbleUpon
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Monday, May 12, 2008
Funny Jokes - Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and John McCain on a plane
Presidential candidates Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and John McCain were flying to a debate.Funny Jokes - Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and John McCain on a plane
Barack looked at Hillary, chuckled and said, "You know I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy."
Hillary shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy."
John added, "That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy."
Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, "Such big-shots back there. I could throw all three of them out of the window and make 156 million people very happy."
I'M VOTING FOR THE PILOT!!
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23 Heart-Felt Reasons Why I Will Always be Faithful to My Wife | The Next 45 Years
23 Heart-Felt Reasons Why I Will Always be Faithful to My Wife | The Next 45 Years1. She is my best friend. I would rather hang out with her than any one else I know. Our Saturday’s of running errands or taking a few moments to talk over coffee at Starbucks, is some of the moments I cherish the most.
2. She shows me I’m worthy to be loved. I don’t feel like I’m second choice in her life.
3. She takes me out of my comfort zone. Mary Beth challenges me and she doesn’t let me take the easy, or safe way out of a situation. She reminds me that to keep growing as a person, I must continue to face my fears and insecurities.
4. She is a terrific mother and parent. My wife is very connected with each of our four children. They all feel loved by her and each one knows they can go to her for help or guidance without fear or shame getting in the way.
5. She gives me all the time I need to work on this blog. Never a pouty reaction – just unconditional support.
6. She takes care of those who are hurting the most. Mary Beth just finished her MSW degree at The University of Kansas. She is devoting the next phase of her professional career to helping those who are in emotional pain and have suffered significant trauma. She wants the rest of her patients’ lives to turn out a differently than how they started.
7. She is the “handy-man” around the house. If it wasn’t for the special skills of my wife, I would spend a fortune paying plumbers and electricians to fix the things I don’t have a clue to repair; but Mary Beth does.
8. She believes in me. No matter the circumstances or challenges, her belief in me never wavers. I can tell by looking into her eyes she truly believes I can do whatever I set-out to do.
9. She has a forgiving heart. My wife doesn’t carry a grudge or harbor resentment for long periods of time. Once she has accepted my apology for something I have done, and has chosen to forgive me – she means it and she lives it.
10. I still get excited when I get to see her for the first time of the day. During the week, I wake up very early and head to work before Mary Beth starts her day. Sometimes it can be as late as 9:00 p.m. before we see each for the first time. My stomach still tingles with excitement when I know I’m only a few minutes from seeing her.
11. She tells me she loves several times throughout the day. Every phone call during the day ends with “I love you,” and the last thing I hear at night as I prepare to fall to sleep is my wife loves me.
12. I respect her. Considering all she done for me, our family and the tremendous effort she places in making this world a better place for everybody else, I can’t imagine doing anything that would disrespect that commitment. I can’t imagine doing anything that would disrespect her.
13. She watches baseball games with me. And she enjoys it; and she knows the players’ name; and she gets excited when the Kansas City Royals win!
14. I miss her when we are apart for a few days. Time away from each other is healthy and beneficial; the homecoming is ever sweeter.
15. She doesn’t mind listening to sports-talk radio in the car. I never get the raised eyebrow look that says, “You expect me to listen to that?”
16. Sometimes she actually thinks I’m funny. She appreciates my sarcastic wit and my occasionally well-timed comebacks. No courtesy laughs here – she gets my sense of humor.
17. She still likes to hold hands when we take our after-dinner walks. Our evening walks have always been a great source of connection for us. We use this time to discuss our days and to help each other process or solve problems. Holding hands while we walk makes this time that much more special.
18. She is both unassuming and confident. Mary Beth seldom takes herself too seriously and at the same time she emits an incredible inner strength and self -confidence that people in her life are drawn to and find comfort in experiencing.
19. Her “I want to be with you” look still makes me weak in the knees.
20. She loves to cuddle. At the end of the day, when the day’s responsibilities are behind us, we grab a few moments to just be with each other as we chat and cuddle while watching something mindless on television. A few golden minutes to be sure.
21. She never quits on herself, or on us. I’m often taken back by her strong will (and sometimes just plain stubbornness) to never give up. No matter the obstacles, or the pain, or the circumstances, she has the ability to reach down and find something more to help keep her moving forward.
22. She looks beautiful in a camisole. They say love is blind, but my wife is beautiful in so many different ways. The camisoles she wears in summer don’t hurt either!
23. I can’t imagine life without her. A life worth living is a life worth sharing. Sharing my life with Mary Beth provides so many blessings. My heart will always remain faithful to hers because it is constantly being filled with her love and grace. I have faith it will always be this way – no matter what.
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Chrysler to offer new car buyers gas for $2.99 for three years
Chrysler to offer new car buyers gas for $2.99 for three yearsWith gas prices soaring to new record highs, paying $2.99 a gallon sounds like a bargain. At least the Chrysler Corporation thinks so.
The auto giant kicked off its new "Let's Refuel America" program today, an initiative that guarantees that anybody who buys or leases a new Chrysler will be able to fill up for $2.99 a gallon for the next three years.
Chrysler will issue program participants a special "Let's Refuel America" card tied to a credit card of their choice. When motorists use their credit card, they will be charged $2.99 a gallon and Chrysler pays the bill for anything above that.
The offer, which runs through June 2, is already creating a buzz, both from dealers who hope it will boost sales in a sagging economy, and from customers looking to save on high fuel costs. Chrysler's March sales sank by 19 percent in the first four months of 2008 compared to last year.
"From a sales standpoint, my expectations are very high," said Dan Dunn, general manager at Bloomington Chrysler Jeep. "This is excting as heck."
And customers, too, are asking about the promotion. Dunn said he's had several calls, including three by 8:30 a.m. Tuesday and the program didn't even start til today.
As with any promotion, there are a few rules. The $2.99 a gallon offer applies only to the first 12,000 miles driven each year. And there are limits to the number of gallons a driver can buy based on the fuel efficiency of the vehicle bought or leased. For details see www.jeep.com/en/refuel/
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Top 10 reasons that I hate/love Stumbleupon | Monkeychapps
Top 10 reasons that I hate/love Stumbleupon | Monkeychapps1. I do not drink or take drugs but according to the American Psychological Association I exhibit all the signs of a addict.
2. My social life consists of the SU toolbar.
3. Most of my conversations begin with “have you stumbled today”?
4. I thought, albeit ever so briefly, about a SU tattoo.
5. I renamed my dog Stumbler. Sometimes I call him Stu.
6. I have not watched more that 6 hours of TV in the last month.
7. My xbox has two months of dust accumulated on it.
8. I have fallen asleep while stumbling.
9. I have found out that I can heat a Cup-o-Noodles from the heat exchange from my cpu.
10. I know that there is a man in North Carolina that has spent months carving pumpkins to look like all the members of The Back Street Boys. This is info that I could have lived many decades without.
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Is the Bloom Off the Facebook Rose: Tech Ticker, Yahoo! Finance
Is the Bloom Off the Facebook Rose: Tech Ticker, Yahoo! FinanceA lot of news swirling around Facebook this weekend as the company announced it was borrowing $100 million for servers and the New York Times opines that Microsoft's investment in Facebook may have been one of the worst VC deals of all time. Meanwhile, Adam D'Angelo, chief technology officer and longtime friend of Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg, is leaving the company.
This after Zuckerberg's co-founder and college roommate Chris Hughes already left, and Facebook continues to bring in new, seasoned management from Google. Aaron and I discuss the news and why the skeptics are wrong about Facebook -- including our own nattering knob of negativism, Henry Blodget.
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Apple: iPhone sold out in US, UK: Financial News - Yahoo! Finance
Apple says iPhone sold out in US and UK, likely signaling next-generation model is on the way SAN FRANCISCO (AP) -- Apple Inc. says its online stores in the U.S. and U.K. are sold out of the iPhone, a sign supplies are being winnowed ahead of the launch of the device's next generation that will feature faster Internet surfing speeds.Apple: iPhone sold out in US, UK: Financial News - Yahoo! FinanceThe Cupertino-based company has confirmed that the iPhone is out of stock online, but added that brick-and-mortar stores run by Apple and iPhone carriers including AT&T Inc. might still have units available.
Apple spokeswoman Natalie Kerris declined to comment on reasons for the shortage and on Apple's plans for an update to the device, which is widely expected to be unveiled in June at Apple's Worldwide Developers Conference in San Francisco.
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CNN.com - Study: Fellatio may significantly decrease the risk of breast cancer in women - October 2, 2003
CNN.com - Study: Fellatio may significantly decrease the risk of breast cancer in women - October 2, 2003(AP) -- Women who perform the act of fellatio and swallow semen on a regular basis, one to two times a week, may reduce their risk of breast cancer by up to 40 percent, a North Carolina State University study found.
Doctors had never suspected a link between the act of fellatio and breast cancer, but new research being performed at North Carolina State University is starting to suggest that there could be an important link between the two.
In a study of over 15,000 women suspected of having performed regular fellatio and swallowed the ejaculatory fluid, over the past ten years, the researchers found that those actually having performed the act regularly, one to two times a week, had a lower occurance of breast cancer than those who had not. There was no increased risk, however, for those who did not regularly perform.
"I think it removes the last shade of doubt that fellatio is actually a healthy act," said Dr. A.J. Kramer of Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, who was not involved in the research. "I am surprised by these findings, but am also excited that the researchers may have discovered a relatively easy way to lower the occurance of breast cancer in women."
The University researchers stressed that, though breast cancer is relatively uncommon, any steps taken to reduce the risk would be a wise decision.
"Only with regular occurance will your chances be reduced, so I encourage all women out there to make fellatio an important part of their daily routine," said Dr. Helena Shifteer, one of the researchers at the University. "Since the emergence of the research, I try to fellate at least once every other night to reduce my chances."
The study is reported in Friday's Journal of Medical Research.
In 1991, 43,582 women died of breast cancer, as reported by the National Cancer Institute.
Dr. Len Lictepeen, deputy chief medical officer for the American Cancer Society, said women should not overlook or "play down" these findings.
"This will hopefully change women's practice and patterns, resulting in a severe drop in the future number of cases," Lictepeen said.
Sooner said the research shows no increase in the risk of breast cancer in those who are, for whatever reason, not able to fellate regularly.
"There's definitely fertile ground for more research. Many have stepped forward to volunteer for related research now in the planning stages," he said.
Almost every woman is, at some point, going to perform the act of fellatio, but it is the frequency at which this event occurs that makes the difference, say researchers. Also key seems to be the protein and enzyme count in the semen, but researchers are again waiting for more test data.
The reasearch consisted of two groups, 6,246 women ages 25 to 45 who had performed fellatio and swallowed on a regular basis over the past five to ten years, and 9,728 women who had not or did not swallow. The group of women who had performed and swallowed had a breast cancer rate of 1.9 percent and the group who had not had a breast cancer rate of 10.4 percent.
"The findings do suggest that there are other causes for breast cancer besides the absence of regular fellatio," Shafteer said. "It's a cause, not THE cause."
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10 Steps to Becoming Fluent in a Language in 6 months or Less
10 Steps to Becoming Fluent in a Language in 6 months or Less1. Immerse yourself
It’s almost impossible to learn a new language, or at least to learn it rapidly, unless you begin thinking in that language. But how do you think in a new language you can’t yet speak?
Ingratiate yourself with the community and you’re halfway there!The answer is to simply immerse yourself in it. Traveling in a foreign country allows you to continuously hear the sounds, rhythms, and inflections of a new language–spoken on the streets, in buses, on television, etc. Your brain will already start to process and interpret a new language.
Even better than simply traveling is being forced to “operate” in a new language by participating in a volunteer program, or working abroad. Best of all is being completely immersed with locals (such as living with a host family) and completely isolated from other native speakers of your language.
Immerse yourself with the locals, their music, culture, media, politics, sports, family, etc. Ingratiate yourself with the community and you’re halfway there!
2. Forget translating: think like a baby!
photo by Felicia Wong
How do babies learn language? Through imitation, repetition of sounds, and above all, by not being shy or self-conscious.
So what if your pronunciation is a little off, or you can’t remember the proper conjugation? Just start talking, even if it seems like babbling. Resisting the urge to translate everything into your native language can be the single fastest shortcut to fluency.
Rather than walking up to the restaurant or giving your host family a pre-memorized phrase for what you’re going to order, simply listen to how the locals order their food, and then imitate them as best you can. The same goes for greetings, small talk, etc. Watch their facial expressions as they say the words; study how they move their mouths.
Copy these expressions and sounds just like a baby would. Whether you understand what they mean exactly or not, eventually you will begin simply calling upon these sounds / phrases / words in appropriate situations. They’ll appear, as if by magic. This is the gateway to thinking in a new language.
3. How do you say?
Besides common greetings, the one phrase you should memorize and always have at the ready is the phrase is “How do you say that / what is that called?”
By being an inquisitive traveler, one who is always asking questions, you befriend the local people. You’ll find that over time they’ll open up to you, making it easier to initiate conversations. These daily interactions with the locals are your best teachers: set a daily goal for yourself of having X number of conversations each day–asking people about things you’re interested in, but don’t know the words for. Even if you can’t finish the conversation, you’re on the way.
4. Write it
After having conversations, jot down the things you remembered hearing but didn’t quite understand.After having conversations, jot down the things you remembered hearing but didn’t quite understand. (This can serve double duty if you’re also taking notes for your travel blog).
Then go back and use your dictionary. Look up the words, piece the conversation back together in your mind. Then, next time you have a conversation, use what you learned.
When studying French and Spanish, I also used “grammar sheets” where I wrote down the various verbs to learn their conjugations. Besides helping me focus, they also became handy reference guides.
5. Use cognates and draw linksEver noticed how some words appear exactly the same across various languages? These are called “cognates.” Unlocking the usage of cognates instantly gives you several hundred more words to your vocabulary. For example, most words ending in “ion” in the Latin languages are the same in English.
For example: information / información, donation / donación
Similarly, words across different languages often share the same root word, so drawing on what you already know will make it easier (e.g.: cheese is fromage in French and fromaggio in Italian). Studies have also shown that when you have mastered a second language, your brain becomes becomes better wired to learn subsequent new languages. Fret not, it gets better!
6. Local TV, movies, music
photo by Robert Paetz
Watch movies, listen to music, sing songs, and browse newspapers and magazines. It’s fun and helps improve your pronunciation and comprehension.
I often stumble when trying to read Chinese script because I don’t use it enough and there are no phonetic cues in Chinese characters. But by watching Chinese music videos and following the lyrics, I learned many new characters and also began pronouncing words more accurately.
In the same way, I attuned myself to rapid French prattling by watching French movies on DVD without subtitles and improved my Spanish by paying attention during the dubbed action movies on long bus rides in South America.
Salsa classes have also ensured I know my izquierda (left) from my derecha (right)!
7. Non-verbal cues
Beyond words, observe locals when they talk. Be it the Gaelic shrug or a slight tilt of the head, combining body language with a new tongue helps you communicate better.
This is especially important in cultures where language is closely linked to gestures. For instance, appropriate bowing and greeting in Japanese are inseparable, as with the hand gestures and intonation in Thailand. Picking up on non-verbal cues added a new dimension to my interactions with Thais, as I learned the appropriate bowing of the head and a deep enough wai (palms together) to accompany my greetings.
8. Get emotional!
photo by Robert Paetz
Emotive experiences often etch impressions onto our memory. Make full use of embarrassing / funny / angry experiences by linking them to the new language.
I learned, quite unfortunately, the importance of the special “ñ” character in Spanish because saying “Tengo 24 anos” instead of “años” meant I told everyone I had 24 anuses rather than being 24 years old.
Needless to say, the embarrassment helped correct my pronunciation for good! Similarly, negotiating with shady cab drivers or nasty vendors also helps you learn numbers rather quickly so you don’t get ripped off.
9. A world of friends / then going solo.
While individual classes can be highly beneficial for unsurpassed attention, group classes with friends can greatly aid learning. Having a friend to practice with helps you get better, and you can also learn from the different mistakes different people make.
On the other hand, venturing out solo in a foreign country forces you to speak with local people–say the person riding next to you on the bus, or standing in line at the market. It also prevents you relying on a friend with stronger language skills to do the talking for you in key exchanges such as asking for directions or buying food.
10. Practice at every opportunity before and after you travel.Ever felt really “rusty” and lacking confidence in a language despite having taken classes or used it (or even mastered it) at some other time in your life? Languages are alive and require exercise. Find avenues to practice wherever and whenever you can.
For instance, I don’t get to use French very often in my daily life, so I found a French penpal to exchange emails. I also keep in touch with people I met in France and French travelers I met in the course of my travels. Writing in French on FaceBook (www.facebook.com) walls does wonders and even helps you learn some local slang!
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Travelers' mantra: Pack light, pack light, pack light - CNN.com
Travelers' mantra: Pack light, pack light, pack light - CNN.com(Tribune Media Services) -- You'll never meet a traveler who, after five trips, brags, "Every year I pack heavier." The measure of a good traveler is how light he or she travels. You can't travel heavy, happy and cheap. Pick two.
Pack light ... be happy.
Too much luggage and camera gear marks you as a typical tourist. It throws up a wall between you and the grizzled Spanish fisherman mending his net. Serendipity suffers. Changing locations becomes a major operation. Con artists figure you're helpless and move in. With one bag hanging on your back, you're mobile and in control -- and less likely to have your luggage get lost, broken or stolen.
Limit yourself to 20 pounds in a carry-on-size bag. A 9-by-22-by-14-inch bag fits under most airplane seats. For many, this is a radical concept. "Just 9-by-22-by-14-inches? That's my cosmetics kit!" But I've bullied many people into packing lighter than they thought reasonable. Checking in with them halfway through their trip I find they're converts -- evangelical like me about the beauties of packing light.
Whether you take a backpack or small soft-sided suitcase (with a shoulder strap or zip-away backpack straps) is up to you. I use a carry-on convertible suitcase/backpack. Some day I'll join the many travelers who prefer the soft-sided suitcases with wheels ("roll aboard"). But as long as I'm strong enough to carry my bag on my back, I will.
How do you fit a whole trip's worth of luggage into a small suitcase or backpack? The answer is simple: Bring very little. Spread out everything you think you might need on the living room floor and scrutinize each item. (This is fun to do with your travel partner.) Ask yourself, "Will I really use this snorkel and these fins enough to justify carrying them around all summer?" Not "Will I use them?" but "Will I use them enough to feel good about carrying them over the Swiss Alps?" Frugal as I may be, I would buy them in Greece and give them away before I'd carry that extra weight over the Alps. Think in terms of what you can do without -- not what will be handy on the trip.
Don't Miss
Whether you're traveling for three weeks or three months, you pack exactly the same. I've seen people pack a whole summer's supply of deodorant, tampons or razors, thinking they can't get them in Europe. The world's getting awfully small; you can buy Dial soap, Tampax and Bic razors in Sicily. Look forward to running out of toothpaste in Bulgaria. Then you have the perfect excuse to go into a Bulgarian store, shop around and pick up something you think might be toothpaste. . . .
Entire books have been written on how to pack. Here are a few simple tricks. Pack for the best scenario -- not the worst. You can buy yourself out of any little jams as you go. Use stuff bags (one each for toiletries, underwear and socks, bigger clothing items and towel, camera gear and film, and miscellaneous stuff such as a first-aid kit and stationery). Roll and rubber band clothes, or zip-lock them in airless Baggies to minimize wrinkles. Pack your backpack only two-thirds full to leave room for picnic food and souvenirs.
The bulk of your luggage is clothing. Minimize by bringing less and washing more often. Every few nights you'll spend 10 minutes doing a little wash. Be careful to choose dark, lightweight clothes that dry quickly and either don't wrinkle or look good wrinkled. To see how wrinkled shirts will get, give everything a wet rehearsal by hand-washing and drying once at home.
Many travelers are concerned about appropriate dress. During the tourist season (April through September), the concert halls go casual. I have never felt out of place at symphonies, operas or plays wearing a decent pair of slacks and a good-looking sweater.
European women wear dresses or skirts more often than pants. American women generally feel fine in slacks, but in certain rural and traditional areas, they may feel more comfortable in a skirt or dress.
Once you've decided what to pack, remember you'll walk with your luggage more than you think. Before leaving home, give yourself a test. Pack up completely, go into your hometown, and be a tourist for an hour. Fully loaded, you should enjoy window-shopping. If you can't, stagger home and thin things out.
Go casual, simple and very light. In your travels you'll meet two kinds of tourists -- those who pack light and those who wish they had. Say it once out loud: "PACK LIGHT!"
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Man Jailed After Daughter Fails To Get GED - Cincinnati breaking news, weather radar, traffic from 9News | Channel 9 WCPO.com
Man Jailed After Daughter Fails To Get GED - Cincinnati breaking news, weather radar, traffic from 9News | Channel 9 WCPO.comA Fairfield man is in jail because his daughter hasn't gotten her General Equivalency Diploma (GED).
A judge ordered the father to stay on top of his daughter's education months ago and when that order wasn't followed, Brian Gegner was sentenced to 180-days in the Butler County jail.
The daughter, Brittany Gegner, says her father shouldn't be punished for her problems.
Especially, she says because she's now 18, an adult.
"It's ridiculously wrong," said Brittany Gegner.
"Of all the punishments they could have given him, to make him go to jail?," she asked. "I mean, probation – until I get my GED – would be reasonable, but to send him to jail? That's overboard."
Butler County Juvenile Court Judge David Niehaus ordered Gegner to jail for contributing to the delinquency of a minor by not following a court order which required Gegner to be sure his daughter got her GED.
This comes after ongoing problems of Brittany skipping classes at Fairfield High School and then, Butler Tech.
While Brian Gegner had custody of her, Brittany says it was while she lived with her mother that she was truant.
"I'm about to be 19 and my Dad's being punished for something I did when I was 16," she said.
"It's like I should, if anybody should be punished for this," said Brittany. "I would way rather me go to jail than my Dad."
"They probably should have punished me if they were going to punish anybody," said Brittany's mother Shana Roach. "Because she did live with me at the time, but because he had the custody, that's why he's being punished."
"But I don't understand the punishment all together because she's going to school, she's been going for four months," said Roach. "The only thing that's holding her back is she can't pass her math test."
Brittany has a daughter who's about 18-months-old.
She says she's determined to pass the GED for her daughter – and her father.
The judge says if she passes the test, her father could get out of jail before his six-months sentence is up.
Brittany's step-mother worries the time in jail will ruin their family.
She says he could lose the job he's worked for 15-years.
"I never dreamed they would put him in jail for this – for six months – it's crazy," said Stephanie Gegner, Brittany's step-mother.
"He has no control over what his adult daughter does," she said. "He just doesn't."
Court administrators say that even though Brittany is an adult now, the case remains active in their court because she was a juvenile when the problems started.
They say this type of punishment is rare and reserved for extreme cases when court orders aren't met.
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