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Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Computer Stupidities: Paranoia

  • Customer: "Well, I just want to know if I load this disk into my computer, won't other people be able to get into my computer and access everything I have in there?"
  • Tech Support: "No, that's not possible."
  • Customer: "You see it on the TV all the time."

  • Me: "DSL is a lot faster. It--"
  • Friend's Father: "Yeah, but if you have DSL, there are a lot of threats."
  • Me: "Yes, that's true to a degree, but there are firewalls that--"
  • Friend's Father: "No, but they can hack into your computer even when it's off and steal your electricity."
  • Me: "Umm...I'm pretty sure that won't happen."
  • Friend's Father: "It's all over the news. You mean to tell me they're wrong?"
  • Me: "...I guess so."

I work for the computer help desk of a large university. One of our more memorable clients is infamous for what I can only describe as techno-paranoia. The last time she called to tell us we were going to have to do something about the "Internet Communists." She was convinced that they were getting into her PC through her television and putting typographical errors in her word processing files. "They weren't there before," she insisted, "and I don't make those kinds of mistakes!"


About a year ago, a customer from Roswell, NM, called in to place an order. To break the ice, I jokingly asked if he or any of his neighbors had seen any aliens lately. The guy laughed and proceeded to tell me all about the crazies (his word, not mine) that not only live in Roswell but who come on vacation there in hopes of seeing a UFO themselves. As he talked, I processed the order, and the last bit of information I needed to complete it was the guy's email address for marketing purposes.

  • Customer: "Email! I won't have anything to do with that Internet or modems of any sort! You should be careful about those. Don't you know that once you install a modem, the government can look into your computer and watch everything you do? That's why every night before I go to bed, I turn the monitor to the wall."

I know a woman that believes there is a hacker attacking her computer. Every time there is a problem, or she gets an error message she is convinced it is "the hacker" messing with her. Almost every day she tells me "The hacker made me lose my document" or "The hacker made my email return with a wrong address message" or "The hacker made Explorer freeze today" or "The hacker made Napster lose its connection today" or "The hacker made a floppy unreadable" or "The hacker made the printer jam."

She has even assumed her imaginary enemy has superhuman powers. When I tell her some of the things she says are impossible to do, she says, "He knows how to do it. He is a genius."

She is sure this guy exists, and he devotes enormous resources and several hours a day, seven days a week to the sole purpose of bothering her.


Once I helped a friend get online for the first time.

  • Me: "Ok, do you have your Internet Explorer ope--"
  • Him: "What!? Your Internet EXPLODED?"

He was hysterical. I explained it all to him, but he was still terrified. Later, when I was done showing him how to surf the web, he asked:

  • Him: "Are you sure the Internet is safe to use?"

  • Customer: "I think I've broken my computer! There's a message across the screen that says: 'It is now safe to turn off your PC.' WHAT SHOULD I DO?!?!"

TV channel 11 in Atlanta has just advised us to turn off "and unplug" our home computers to keep them from being vandalized by web site hackers.

This is the same station that told us our cars weren't going to start on the morning of January 1, 2000, because of the Y2K problem.

I've just written to them to try to clue them in that most web sites aren't hosted on home computers. But the "and unplug" was the amusing part.


At the end of the eighties I was working for a company that made software for doctor's offices. I frequently gave demonstrations to small groups of physicians. One of the main concerns was safety. There was so much talk about hackers. Would their patient records be safe from intruders? I explained to them that one could only get into a computer from outside the office if the modem was on, and the computer was running a communication program and acting as a host. At that time, this was a rare situation in private practice. But even the most powerful argument I could think of, "You can't break into a computer that's turned off," did not have the impact I had hoped for. One way or the other they were convinced that a clever hacker would not be stopped by such a trivial problem!


I was an editor for my high school's newspaper for a couple years. The newspaper and the yearbook staffs shared a computer lab, because it was too costly to keep separate ones. The yearbook advisor (a little off her rocker) was convinced that we newspaper students were sneaking into the journalism room at night, removing all the memory from the computers, and selling on the black market for a higher price. The reason she believed this is that we always got type 11 errors (Mac), and she thought that since they had to do with memory and the computers were fairly new, one of us had to be physically doing something to the memory. She finally went and told the principal. He, not being much smarter than she, proceeded to tell our newspaper advisor about our "illegal activities," and she laughed him out of the room. The only thing that really happened is that the yearbook lady finally had a police officer come in and lecture us about the harm of stealing school property.


A customer called saying he was getting an error in Windows 95. He told me what the error was, and I recognized this as a typical error that occurs after installing MS Office 97.

  • Tech Support: "Sir, did you just install Office 97?"
  • Customer: "YOU'RE IN MY COMPUTER, AREN'T YOU?????" (click)

I was once using the generic telnet program on the library computers to check my mail on UTM (the local university) with Pine. The computer-inept librarian walked up behind me.

  • Her: (shrieking) "WHAT ARE YOU DOING???"
  • Me: "I'm checking my email--"
  • Her: "It looks like you're breaking into the computer!!"
  • Me: "No really -- I'm checking my mail."
  • Her: "But that's not HOTMAIL!!"
  • Me: "I don't use hotmail. I use--"
  • Her: "But EVERYONE uses HOTMAIL!!"
  • Me: "No, my account goes through UTM. My email account ends with--"
  • Her: "But that's not what MYYY UTM looks like!!" (apparently referring to the UTM web page)
  • Me: "Yes, I'm telnetting. It's another way of accessing--"
  • Her: "I think you better shut that off. You're breaking into the computer."
  • Me: "But I--"
  • Her: "Turn it off. I don't believe that 'checking mail' story."

When in college, I had to make a fake advertisement for a class. I had a GIF that I downloaded that I wanted to put into it, so I sat down at the only Mac that was connected to the scanner in the school's computer lab. For some reason, it couldn't open the file, and the program crashed repeatedly. I got a lab technician to come over, and I explained the problem. She asked what I did to it and got angry with me. So I went to the Mac next to the one I was on and opened the picture in the same program. She told me in no uncertain terms that I was responsible for ruining the computer.

  • Me: "I scanned these pictures in, then tried to open this GIF I downloaded."
  • Her: "What? You can't do that! That type of a file is for Windows machines only! It isn't supported on Macs."
  • Me: "No, it is a standard graphic file. It can be opened on either machine."
  • Her: "No it can't! You might have to pay to fix this."
  • Me: "If it can't open on a Mac, how did I get it to open on this Mac right here? See?"
  • Her: "Don't do that! You're gonna break that one also."

To protect her computer from evil me, she leaned over and flipped the power switch off.


Back in the beginning af the 90s I worked as a technician in an university, and my job was to keep the PCs and Macs at the department connected to the university network. At this time, the network cabling was a coaxial cable in each floor in the building, terminated in both ends, and the computers were connected to this cable by using a T-connector directly at the main coaxial cable. This also meant that when we cut the cable to hook up a new computer, the computers at the other end lost the connection to the network.

One day, more than three quarters of the computers lost their connection, and the telephone went red from angry employees not being able to print. After a lot of work, we found the problem. One of the professors, convinced that this computer network was a threat to his health, had cut the coaxial cable and removed the part of it that was running through his office. We were not able to convince him that there was no harm in having the cable there, so altered the cabling so it wouldn't run through his office. Afterward, the professor was angry that he was not able to use the big laserjet printers that everybody else used.


  • Tech Support: "Yes, ma'am, we require a credit card or checking account in order to sign up on our service."
  • Customer: "Well, I saw on the news that I should never give out my credit card information!"
  • Tech Support: "Well, ma'am, we have to have a way to bill you."
  • Customer: "No other service does this!"
  • Tech Support: "No, ma'am, the others don't allow you to use a checking account."
  • Customer: "No honest company would ask me for my credit card information!"

  • Tech Support: "May I have your phone number, sir?"
  • Customer: "I don't give out my phone number!"
  • Tech Support: "All right. How may I help you, sir?"
  • Customer: "How much for your Internet service?"

I gave him the prices.

  • Customer: "If I own the software why do you keep charging for it?"
  • Tech Support: "Well, sir, the software is free, but you are charged for being online."
  • Customer: "YOU CONNECT YOUR COMPUTER TO THE PHONE LINE?!?"
  • Tech Support: "Well, sir, you do use a modem to dial online."
  • Customer: "I WILL NEVER HOOK MY COMPUTER TO MY PHONE!!!!" (click)

The second day I worked doing phone tech support, I was called by an elderly woman who was sobbing and panicked. After spending twenty minutes getting her calmed down, I finally found out what her problem was. She had been on the Internet and recieved the ever-popular message "This program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down." Immediately afterward, she had heard police sirens down the road and thought, "They're coming to lock me up!"


I've done my time in tech support and have managed to live through some very weird calls, but this one was the best. An older lady bought a brand new desktop system with all the extras and had been using it for about a month when she got an error about an "illegal function." She took apart the whole system down to the hard drive and hid it in different parts of her house, called us, and wanted to know how much longer she had until the police were going to come get her. Needless to say, we spent a lot of time on the phone putting the system back together.


I work as a computer tech at a community college. Most of our computers are currently running Windows 95. One day, an officer from our security department stopped by to talk to me. His face looked grim. He pulled me quietly aside.

  • Officer: "We have a new part time person working in our office who uses the computer, and I have to ask you something, but you need to keep this confidential."
  • Me: "Ok, what's the problem?"
  • Officer: "Well, over the past two or three days I've glanced over at the new person's computer, and several times I've seen a message that says 'You have performed an illegal operation,' but he keeps clearing it by clicking something. I need to find out what he's doing wrong and if we should call the local police."

He looked so scared and serious, I had a hard time containing my laughter.


One of my users recently came into the workforce and is literally terrified of her computer. Each sound it makes be it from the speaker or random drive noises causes her to flinch and turn pale. She sits at a custom-built wraparound desk surrounded by her computer, the switchboard, an electric typewriter (she hates that too), and the postal meter. In order to point at the screen I have to stand directly behind her chair.

She was having great problems with the telecoms software convincing herself that she really had downloaded the file. In order to demonstrate that the "dir" command would show her that her files really were in the directory I chose the c:\dos directory to use it on.

When the dozens of filenames flickered down the screen she was so panicked that she thrust her chair backwards crushing me between the chair and the typewriter.

To simplify things, I installed Windows 95 and demonstrated how to move files from the folder to the trash can. Later I wandered by her desk and noticed a forest of icons surrounding her trash can. She hadn't managed to hit it once.


I work for a nationwide ISP, doing overnight technical support. A man who had immigrated from Croatia called to ask us, in his thick eastern European accent, mind you, why we were kicking him offline.

  • Customer: "Why do you guys keep kicking me offline?"
  • Tech Support: "Can you hold on a moment while I look at your account logs?"
  • Customer: "Sure, but please hurry."
  • Tech Support: "Ok." ... "Hi, thanks for holding. It looks like our servers are reporting that either your modem is hanging up like a normal disconnect, or the connection is just being lost. This is usually attributed to line noise. I'd advise you get in touch with--"
  • Customer: "No, that is not what it is!"
  • Tech Support: "Well, that would normally be the first place I'd look. The modems are just losing touch with each--"
  • Customer: "All right. Apparently they do not tell you everything there. What I'm trying to look at are some Croatian newspapers to keep up with what's going on in my old country. The government did not like me when I was there and they do not like me being in touch with my family and events there today."
  • Tech Support: "Sir, the government there cannot disconnect you from the Internet here. You are in the United St--"
  • Customer: "My government was very powerful. They can do lots of things you would never imagine."
  • Tech Support: "I'm sure in Croatia, the government would have the power to disconnect you from the Internet. The service providers are under their jurisdiction there. However, in America, there is nothing they could do to force our computers to knock you off line. You're safe. I'm telling you, the first and foremost place I'd look is the telephone company to have them do what's called a 'data grade check'--"
  • Customer: "No, no, no. That is alright. I just wanted to know if you were doing it intentionally, or if it was them. Thank you. Thank you. Have a good night."

At 3:37 a.m. on a Sunday, I had just looked at the clock to determine my annoyance level, when I received a frantic phone call from a new user of a Macintosh Plus. She had gotten her entire family out of the house and was calling from her neighbor's. She had just received her first system error and interpreted the picture of the bomb on the screen as a warning that the computer was going to blow up.


  • Customer: "I had an important document that was password protected, and I can't get in it. I don't know the password."
  • Tech Support: "Ok, we do have a program the get passwords from Word documents. Can you email me the document?"
  • Customer: "No, it is very sensitive. That's why it was password protected. I won't even keep the file on the server. I keep it secure on a floppy."
  • Tech Support: "It would be much safer if you kept it on the server. Floppies are easily corrupted. At least on the server it would be backed up each night."
  • Customer: "That is exactly what I don't want to happen. For legal reasons, I don't want any copies of this file. I want you to come down here and get the password for me."
  • Tech Support: "I'm not in the same office as you are, so I'll need to send someone there to your desk to help you out."
  • Customer: "Have them call ahead first so I can get security here when they are work with the file."
  • Tech Support: "Security? Sir, We sign a non-disclosure agreement, so that won't be necessary."
  • Customer: "Yes, it will be necessary! This is a very important and sensitive document, and we don't want anyone touching it without some security."
  • Tech Support: "Ok, that's fine. I'll let them know to bring the password software so they can get the password you forgot."
  • Customer: "I didn't forget it!"
  • Tech Support: "Excuse me?"
  • Customer: "I didn't have to remember it."
  • Tech Support: "What do you mean?"
  • Customer: "The password was written on a yellow post-it note attached to the disk and must had fallen off. It has be somewhere on my desk, but there are so many papers here I can't find it!"

I had to mute the phone so they wouldn't hear me laughing.

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Bootstrapper » Negative Calorie Foods: 15 Foods That Actually Burn More Calories Than They Contain

Negative Calorie Foods: 15 Foods That Actually Burn More Calories Than They Contain

Friday, December 7, 2007 at 1:36am by admin

By Laura Milligan

No, we’re not advocating the battle to see how few calories you can consume each day or promoting crash diets in any form or function; however, if you’re a snack-o-holic who can’t stop munching and crunching in between meals, try snacking on one of these negative calorie foods instead of gobbling down a cupcake or big bag of chips. Your body can burn more calories just by chewing and processing the snack than the food contains already. In other words, you’ll be able to keep eating throughout the day without packing on extra pounds.

  1. Celery: A staple on most party veggie trays, celery (without the ranch dressing) is a crispy snack that you can enjoy without worrying about taking in any calories. It is high in sugar and sodium, but still much healthier than pigging out on brownies or salty peanuts.
  2. Oranges: Before you leave for work in the morning, toss an orange into your bag for a mid-morning or late afternoon snack. An orange typically contains only 45 calories, so feel free to eat the whole thing!
  3. Strawberries: Strawberries are a popular negative calorie food because of their natural sweetness and juiciness. Sprinkle a few on your breakfast cereal to give your metabolism an extra jumpstart early in the day.
  4. Tangerines: A smaller, more tart version of the orange, tangerines are another negative calorie food that’s both tasty and portable. Enjoy one or two for a snack throughout the day to stimulate your taste buds without having to dig through the candy drawer.
  5. Grapefruit: As big as it is, grapefruit –without the extra sugar on top– is a surprisingly negative calorie food. One-half of a grapefruit only contains 36 calories but a whopping 78% of your daily value of potassium.
  6. Carrots: Carrots don’t just make your eyes sparkle; they also let you snack guilt-free. Snack on baby carrots instead of chips and salsa while you make dinner, or keep a bag in your office refrigerator when you feel the need to eat due to stress.
  7. Apricots: Indulge in nutrient-rich apricots for a sweet snack with negative calories. Your higher metabolism and thinning waistline will thank you.
  8. Lettuce: There’s a dirty little rumor in the magazine industry that the girls at Vogue keep lettuce in their desks to snack on when the hunger pains strike, but they can’t afford to compromise their stick thin figures. We’re guessing you’re not about to go through the day dizzy with starvation, but you can make yourself a hearty salad with lots of lettuce (and other negative calorie veggies!) once you get home. Don’t forget to take it easy on the dressing.
  9. Tomatoes: Chop up a tomato to give your sandwich, salad or egg whites omelet extra flavor without adding any calories.
  10. Cucumbers: Your salad can’t survive on lettuce alone. Cucumbers are another negative calorie food that are great for crunching on when your mouth is getting bored. Check here for tips on growing your own cucumbers.
  11. Watermelon: A traditional summertime treat, enjoying a watermelon is almost fun and delicious as eating candy because of its super sweet, super juicy nature. Plus, you’ll burn off all the calories crunching, digesting, and of course, spitting out the seeds.
  12. Cauliflower: Another party platter vegetable, raw cauliflower is naturally low in fat and of course, calories, so don’t be shy about piling up your cocktail napkin.
  13. Apples: An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but when eaten as a snack instead of candy bars or chips, apples will also keep the calories at bay. With only 81 calories per apple, your body also works a lot harder and longer to digest the fruit many other snack options.
  14. Hot Chili Peppers: Excess seasonings and dressings pile on lots of fat and calories to otherwise healthy meals. To avoid gaining weight simply because you’re a condiments junkie, experiment with more natural seasonings like hot chili peppers, which is a negative calorie food.
  15. Zucchini: Zucchini is a versatile, negative calorie food that can be baked, steamed, fried (not recommended), or prepared in many other ways. With just 15 calories per 100g, make zucchini your new diet staple.

Implementing negative calorie foods into your daily diet doesn’t just help you lose weight by cutting calories; it also speeds up your metabolism and introduces healthier items like fruits and vegetables into your regular food choices and favorite recipes. So no matter how you look at it, you’ll come out ahead.

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Lighten Up Louisiana Campaign

Fruits and Vegetables Chart

 apples
Protects your heart
prevents constipation
Blocks diarrhea
Improves lung capacity
Cushions joints
apricots
Combats cancer
Controls blood pressure
Saves your eyesight
Shields against Alzheimer's
Slows aging process
artichokes
Aids digestion
Lowers cholesterol
Protects your heart
Stabilizes blood sugar
Guards against liver disease
avocados
Battles diabetes
Lowers cholesterol
Helps stops strokes
Controls blood pressure
Smoothes skin
bananas
Protects your heart
Quiets a cough
Strengthens bones
Controls blood pressure
Blocks diarrhea
beans
Prevents constipation
Helps hemorrhoids
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
Stabilizes blood sugar
beets
Controls blood pressure
Combats cancer
Strengthens bones
Protects your heart
Aids weight loss
blueberries
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Stabilizes blood sugar
Boosts memory
Prevents constipation
broccoli
Strengthens bones
Saves eyesight
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Controls blood pressure
cabbage
Combats cancer
Prevents constipation
Promotes weight loss
Protects your heart
Helps hemorrhoids
cantaloupe
Saves eyesight
Controls blood pressure
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
Supports immune system
carrots
Saves eyesight
Protects your heart
Prevents constipation
Combats cancer
Promotes weight loss
cauliflower
Protects against Prostate Cancer
Combats Breast Cancer
Strengthens bones
Banishes bruises
Guards against heart disease
cherries
Protects your heart
Combats Cancer
Ends insomnia
Slows aging process
Shields against Alzheimer's
chestnuts
Promotes weight loss
Protects your heart
Lowers cholesterol
Combats Cancer
Controls blood pressure
chili peppers
Aids digestion
Soothes sore throat
Clears sinuses
Combats Cancer
Boosts immune system
figs
Promotes weight loss
Helps stops strokes
Lowers cholesterol
Combats Cancer
Controls blood pressure
fish
Protects your heart
Boosts memory
Protects your heart
Combats Cancer
Supports immune system
flax
Aids digestion
Battles diabetes
Protects your heart
Improves mental health
Boosts immune system
garlic
Lowers cholesterol
Controls blood pressure
Combats cancer
kills bacteria
Fights fungus
grapefruit
Protects against heart attacks
Promotes Weight loss
Helps stops strokes
Combats Prostate Cancer
Lowers cholesterol
grapes
saves eyesight
Conquers kidney stones
Combats cancer
Enhances blood flow
Protects your heart
green tea
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Helps stops strokes
Promotes Weight loss
Kills bacteria
honey
Heals wounds
Aids digestion
Guards against ulcers
Increases energy
Fights allergies
lemons
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Controls blood pressure
Smoothes skin
Stops scurvy
limes
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Controls blood pressure
Smoothes skin
Stops scurvy
mangoes
Combats cancer
Boosts memory
Regulates thyroid
aids digestion
Shields against Alzheimer's
mushrooms
Controls blood pressure
Lowers cholesterol
Kills bacteria
Combats cancer
Strengthens bones
oats
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
Battles diabetes
prevents constipation
Smoothes skin
olive oil
Protects your heart
Promotes Weight loss
Combats cancer
Battles diabetes
Smoothes skin
onions
Reduce risk of heart attack
Combats cancer
Kills bacteria
Lowers cholesterol
Fights fungus
oranges
Supports immune systems
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Straightens respiration
 
 
peaches
prevents constipation
Combats cancer
Helps stops strokes
aids digestion
Helps hemorrhoids
peanuts
Protects against heart disease
Promotes Weight loss
Combats Prostate Cancer
Lowers cholesterol
Aggravates
diverticulitis
pineapple
Strengthens bones
Relieves colds
Aids digestion
Dissolves warts
Blocks diarrhea
prunes
Slows aging process
prevents constipation
boosts memory
Lowers cholesterol
Protects against heart disease
rice
Protects your heart
Battles diabetes
Conquers kidney stones
Combats cancer
Helps stops strokes
strawberries
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
boosts memory
Calms stress
 
 
sweet potatoes
Saves your eyesight
Lifts mood
Combats cancer
Strengthens bones
 
 
tomatoes
Protects prostate
Combats cancer
Lowers cholesterol
Protects your heart
 
 
walnuts
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
boosts memory
Lifts mood
Protects against heart disease
water
Promotes Weight loss
Combats cancer
Conquers kidney stones
Smoothes skin
 
 
watermelon
Protects prostate
Promotes Weight loss
Lowers cholesterol
Helps stops strokes
Controls blood pressure
wheat germ
Combats Colon Cancer
prevents constipation
Lowers cholesterol
Helps stops strokes
improves digestion
wheat bran
Combats Colon Cancer
prevents constipation
Lowers cholesterol
Helps stops strokes
improves digestion
yogurt
Guards against ulcers
Strengthens bones
Lowers cholesterol
Supports immune systems
Aids digestion

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Krontzilla

Krontzilla

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The Urban Rebellion: Dating Translations

The Urban Rebellion: Dating Translations

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evite: end-of-summer bash: drunken watermelon on tap

evite: end-of-summer bash: drunken watermelon on tap

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3. What do you consider your most significant accomplishments?


JOB TOOLS

Tough Questions and Answers
Ok, you're in the interview and you are prepared to talk about your past job experiences. Then, the interviewer starts to ask more general and maybe, uncomfortable questions. Here are some of those questions and things to think about BEFORE you go to interview!



1. Tell me a story about yourself.
2. Why are you leaving your current position?
3. What do you consider your most significant accomplishments?
4. Why do you believe that you are qualified for this position?
5. Have you ever accomplished something you didn't think you could?
6. What do you like/dislike most about your current position?
7. How do you handle pressure? Do you like or dislike these situations?
8. The sign of a good employee is the ability to take the initiative. Can you describe situations like this about yourself?
9. What's the worst or most embarrassing aspect of your business career? How would you have done things differently now with 20/20 hindsight?
10. How have you grown or changed over the past few years?
11. What do you consider your most significant strengths?
12. What do you consider your most significant weaknesses?
13. Deadlines, frustrations, difficult people, and silly rules can make a job difficult. How do you handle these types of situations?
14. One of our biggest problems is ________. What has been your experience with this? How would you deal with it?
15. How do you compare your technical skills to your management skills?
16. How has your technical ability been important in accomplishing results?
17. How would you handle a situation with tight deadlines, low employee morale, and inadequate resources?
18. Are you satisfied with your career to date? What would you change if you could?
19. What are your career goals? Where do you see yourself five years from now? Ten years?
20. What do you think of your last boss? Favorite boss? Least favorite boss?
21. What is your energy level like? Describe a typical day?
22. How do you take direction? How do you take criticism?
23. Why should we hire you for this position? What contribution would you make?

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1. Tell me a story about yourself.
Just talk for 2 minutes. Be logical. Start anywhere, e.g. high school, college or first position. The interviewer is looking for communication skills, linear thinking. Also try to score a point or two (describe a major personal attribute.

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2. Why are you leaving your current position?
This is a very critical question. Don't "bad mouth" your previous employer. Don't sound too opportunistic. Some description could be major problems, buy-out, or shut-down. It is also good to state that 'after a long personal consideration your chance to make a contribution is very low due to company changes.

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3. What do you consider your most significant accomplishments?
This can get you the job. Prepare extensively. Score points. Tell a 2 minute story, with details and discuss your personal involvement. Make the accomplishment worth achieving. Discuss hard work, long hours, pressure, important company issues at stake.

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4. Why do you believe that you are qualified for this position?
Pick two or three main factors about the job and about you that are most relevant. Discuss for two minutes, with specific details. Select a technical skill, a specific management skill (organizing, staffing, planning), and a personal success attribute to mention.

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5. Have you ever accomplished something you didn't think you could?
Interviewer is trying to determine your goal orientation, work ethic, personal commitment, and integrity. Provide a good example where you overcame number difficulties to succeed. Prove you're not a quitter, and that you'll get going when the going gets tough.

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6. What do you like/dislike most about your current position?
Interviewer is trying to determine compatibility with open position. If you have interest in the position be careful. Stating you dislike overtime or getting into the details, or that you like management can cost you the position. There is nothing wrong with liking challenges, pressure situations, opportunities to grow, or dislike for bureaucracy or frustrating situations.

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7. How do you handle pressure? Do you like or dislike these situations?
High achievers tend to perform well in high pressure situations. Conversely, questions also could imply that position is pressure packed and out of control. There is nothing wrong with this as long as you know what you're getting into. If you do perform well under stress, provide a good example with details, giving an overview of the stress situation. Let the interviewer "feel" the stress by your description of it.

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8. The sign of a good employee is the ability to take the initiative. Can you describe situations like this about yourself?
A pro-active, results oriented person doesn't have to be told what to do. This is one of the major success attributes. To convince the interviewer you possess this trait you must give a series of short examples describing your self motivation. Try to discuss at least one in detail. The extra effort, strong work ethic and creative side of you must be demonstrated.

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9. What's the worst or most embarassing aspect of your business career? How would you have done things differently now with 20/20 hindsight?
This is a general question to learn how introspective you are, also to see if you can learn from your mistakes. If you can, it indicates an open, more flexible personality. Don't be afraid to talk about your failures, particularly if you've learned from them. This is a critical aspect of high potential individuals.

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10. How have you grown or changed over the past few years?
This requires thought. Maturation, increased technical skills, or increase self-confidence are important aspects of human development. To discuss this effectively is indicative of a well-balanced, intelligent individual. Overcoming personal obstacles, or recognizing manageable weaknesses can brand you as an approachable and desirable employee.

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11. What do you consider your most significant strengths?
Be prepared. Know your four or five key strengths. Be able to discuss each with a specific example. Select those attributes that are most compatible with the job opening. Most people say "management" or "good interpersonal skills" in answer to this. Don't use this unless you can describe the specific characteristics of management (planning, organizing, results, staffing, etc.) or how your relationship skills have proven critical to your success.

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12. What do you consider your most significant weaknesses?
Don't reveal deep character flaws. Rather discuss tolerable faults, that you are working towards improving. Show by specific example how this has changed over time. Better still, show how a weakness can be turned into a strength. For example, how a concentration on details results in higher quality work even though it requires overtime.

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13. Deadlines, frustrations, difficult people, and silly rules can make a job difficult. How do you handle these types of situations?
Most companies, unfortunately, face these types of problems daily. If you can't deal with petty frustrations, you'll be seen as a problem. You certainly can state your displeasure at the petty side of these issues, but how you overcome them is important. Diplomacy, perseverance, and common-sense can often prevail even in difficult circumstances. This is part of corporate America, and you must be able to deal with it on a regular basis.

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14. One of our biggest problems is ________. What has been your experience with this? How would you deal with it?
Think on your feet. Ask questions to get details. Break it into sub-sections. Highly likely you have some experience with sub-sections. Answer these, and summarize the total. State how you would go about solving the problem, if you can't answer directly. Be specific. Show your organizational and analytical skills.

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15. How do you compare your technical skills to your management skills?
Many people tend to minimize their technical skills, either because they don't have any, or they don't like getting into the details. Most successful managers possess good technical skills and don't get into enough detail to make sure they understand the information being presented by their group. Try for a good balance here if you want to be seriously considered for the position.

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16. How has your technical ability been important in accomplishing results?
Clearly the interviewer believes he needs a strong level of technical competence. Most strong managers have good technical backgrounds, even if they have gotten away from the details. Describe specific examples of your technical where with all, but don't be afraid to say you are not current. Also, you could give examples of how you resolve a technical issue by "accelerated research."

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17. How would you handle a situation with tight deadlines, low employee morale, and inadequate resources?
If you pull this off effectively, it indicates you have strong management skills. Need to be creative. An example would be great. Relate your toughest management task, even if it doesn't meet all the criteria. Most situation don't. Organizational skills, interpersonal skills, and handling pressure are key elements of effective management. Good managers should be able to address each issue, even if they are not concurrent. Deftly handling the question is pretty indicative of your skills.

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18. Are you satisfied with your career to date? What would you change if you could?
Be honest. Interviewer wants to know if he can keep you happy. It's important to know if you're willing to make some sacrifices to get your career on the right track. Degree of motivation is an important selection criteria.

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19. What are your career goals? Where do you see yourself five years from now? Ten years?
Most importantly, be realistic! Blue sky stuff brands you as immature. One or two management jumps in three to five years is a reasonable goal. If your track indicates you're on line for senior management in ten years, it's okay to mention. However, if you've have a rocky road, better to be introspective.

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20. What do you think of your last boss? Favorite boss? Least favorite boss?
Realize that complainers are recognized as potential trouble-makers. Keep your answer short, sweet and move-on. "I like him as an individual and respect him professionally and I learned a great deal." Do not elaborate further. Find a growth opportunity in any situation.

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21. What is your energy level like? Describe a typical day?
Demonstrate good use of time, include planning in advance and that review of your performance helps you reach your desired goals.

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22. How do you take direction? How do you take criticism?
The preferred situation is when a manager can provide fully detailed directions. Remember that managers have a larger agenda, which might not be shared. Learning what signals could have been recognized earlier is preferred to taking offense to criticism.

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23. Why should we hire you for this position? What contribution would you make?
Good chance to summarize. By now you know the key problems. Re-state and show how you would address. Relate to specific attributes and specific accomplishments. Qualify responses with the need to gather information. Don't be cocky. Demonstrate a thoughtful, organized, strong effort kind of attitude.


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