PhotoshopDisasters
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Friday, April 18, 2008
Blond Joke
> Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
> Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.
>
> In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase
> a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
>
> Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide
> to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."
>
> The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she
> wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less.
>
> After buying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a
> telegram to tell her the news.
> She walks into the telegraph office, and says,
>
> "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull
> for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive
> out here so we can haul it home."
>
> The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds,
> "It's just 99 cents a word."
>
> Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes
> that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.
>
> After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send
> her the word "comfortable".
>
> The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that
> you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to
> haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, "comfortable?'"
>
> The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll read it
> slow. - - - -
>
> !
>
> !
>
> !
> ("com-for-da-bul" )
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Helpful Tips to Help You Relax
Tips to help you mom's take a break and relax despite your busy busy schedule.
As a mom, you pretty much give 100%, 100% of the time! I know, because I am a stay at home mom! I am dedicating this article to all mom's working and stay at home, new and experienced!
My main advice to you is TAKE A BREAK!!! I know how stressful parenting can be, I urge you, take a minute to relax! I can testify to the fact that taking that little bit of time for yourself will give you a little more energy to be an even better mom than you already are. I am going to give you some helpful tips on just how to take that little break. I know some of you out there are thinking take a break, yeah right, who has time...well I will show you that you have time!
Extra 30-60 minutes in the morning
Set your alarm 30-60 minutes earlier in the morning! Wake up have a cup of coffee and do your devotions, or read a newspaper... This will get your day rolling on the right foot, by the time your children wake up you will have already had a chance to collect yourself!
Extra 30-60 minutes at night
If you aren't really a morning person, stay up an extra 30-60 minutes. This will give you a chance to just sit. If you aren't the type of person who likes to "just sit and relax" use this time to take a bubble bath, or catch up on a novel!
Organization
Don't worry I'm not going to list out all the things you can do to get organized, however in my experience I have found that making a cleaning schedule gives me a little extra time to play with my kids. (e.g. Monday-deep clean kitchen, Tues.- Bathroom duty, Wed.-Laundry, etc.) Limit yourself to one or two chores a day, if you think about it you already have enough on your plate with picking up after your kids, making meals, and playing you shouldn't load yourself down with to-do's!
Just give in
If you are really stressed out, take a day off! There are two ways to "take a day off"
- Choose a day during the week that you don't clean at all, except of course dishes.
- Get a babysitter! Believe me you deserve it!
Get a babysitter
Just take a day to yourself! (I felt the need to reiterate this one, it is extremely helpful, but don't make it a habit....your kids will start to miss you) You don't have to get a babysitter for the whole day, try just 30-60 minutes. However the key to making this work is LEAVE....go for a walk, go shopping, visit a friend, or just go outside and sit. It's not really a break unless you actually do something for yourself!
Go to the park
Kids love going to the park and the great thing about the park is that your children will usually play by themselves! Grab a book or magazine and head to the park! It will give you a chance to think!! Although don't get too involved with what you are doing, you do still have to keep an eye on those muchkins!!!
Designate a toy area
If you have an extra room in your home use it for a toy room. Your children will love having a place to go and play by themselves, they will be out of your hair, and their toys will all be in the same place instead of in every room of your house!!
Just close your eyes
Don't go to sleep, but close your eyes for 60 seconds, imagine you are somewhere else, block out all noises and take a quick trip to paradise. I promise it does help even if it only lasts for 60 seconds!!
These are just some tips to try. I have used each and every one, and believe me when I say, it's very stress relieving! I love my family dearly, but without a break every once in awhile I would probably go insane! I urge you take the time out of your VERY busy MOM schedule, and RELAX for a minute!
Helpful Tips to Help You Relax
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Color + Design Blog / The Meanings of Flower Colors by COLOURlovers
Color + Design Blog / The Meanings of Flower Colors by COLOURloversEver find it challenging to put into words a wish, a desire or particularly a feeling? If so, perhaps color and flowers are the solution to help articulate the emotions we occasionally struggle to verbalize.
Color, of course, is not the only way to communicate with flowers. The “silent language” made popular and finessed by women during the reign of Queen Victoria (1837 - 1901) included color as well as quantity; the type of flower; placement and arrangement. This language was quite sophisticated and nuanced. So much so a slew of books were published to help guide and explain Floriography: the language of flowers.
While flowers have historically been used to express feelings of amore; the meaning of flowers – like any language – is living and ever-evolving. Flowers can communicate the wonderful kaleidoscope of emotions. If accuracy matters or rather, the fear of a blunder, remember: even experts disagree on the one true meaning of flowers.
Most important of all, loose interpretation is highly encouraged. Have fun, experiment and fear not the flower; the sentiment is what truly counts.
from top left to bottom right: Lida Rose, tanakawho, gailf548, Pétur Gauti.
Red
The traditional color of love, Red excites. Red flowers are classic and can be a potent stimulant for a romantic liaison.
Symbolism: Passion, deep love, desire, beauty, respect, confidence, longing, courage, aristocratic, constancy.
Romantic message: I love you; I desire you, always.
Flower options: Long-stem Roses for the classic message. Anemones, Orchids, Zinnia, Dahlias, Amaryllis.
Pink
Feeling frisky? Cotton candy or pale blush, pink is feminine fun, fun, fun. Pink flowers are a sweet reminder of childhood days.
Symbolism: Sweetness, playfulness, grace, admiration, gratitude.
Romantic message: Life with you is fun. I admire you and I’m thankful for you in my life.
Flower options: Peonies, hydrangeas, Stargazer lilies, Ranunculus, Roses, Tulips, Freesia, Zinnia, Camellias.
Yellow
Known for its warm, energetic and sunny appearance, Yellow brightens any space or experience. In a romantic context a yellow flower often signals a change.
Symbolism: Nobility, richness, friendship, joy, happiness, new beginnings, jealousy, pride.
Romantic message: Things are moving too fast, let’s slow things down.
Flower suggestions: Tulips, Daffodils, Sunflowers, Lilies, Alstromeria, Freesia.
The exception: A bouquet of yellow roses is the perfect way to tell your friend you want more. And, if that’s too subtle, mix it up with red roses to express friendship peppered with longings of love.
Orange or Coral
Autumn leaves, hot summer sands, or citrus fruits, Orange or Coral is bold, warm and commands attention. Orange flowers can stir feelings ranging from simply enjoying life to pure, dizzying attraction.
Symbolism: Warmth, happiness, vivacity, intrigue, desire, enlightenment, health.
Romantic message: I desire you or life is simply extraordinary with you.
Flower options: Roses, Poppies, Orchids, Birds of Paradise, Ranunculus, Gerbera Daisies, Tulips.
Green
Surrounding us in nature, Green in the botanical form is a neutral color. Typically a background color, Green when combined together in varying shades tends to awaken feelings of balance and positive energy.
Symbolism: Happiness, youth, sincerity, fortune, renewal, fertility, faith, neutrality, eternal life, optimism.
Romantic message: My life is rich and harmonious with you.
Flower suggestions: Hellebores, Roses, Bells of Ireland, Green Cymbidium.
Blue
Deep blue oceans; Calm, cool lakes; Open-road skies, Blue is the color of tranquility, trust, and infinite possibilities. Flowers in shades of blue release the spirit and often induce feelings comfort.
Symbolism: Peace, serenity, freedom, integrity, devotion, hope, infinity, stability.
Romantic message: I can be myself with you and I only have eyes for you.
Flower suggestions: Iris, Delphinium, Hydrangea, Larkspur, Forget-me-nots, Freesia.
Purple or Violet
Often associated with royalty, violet or purple is also the color synonymous with creativity and meditation. Purple or Violet flowers can relax as well as awaken feelings of intense euphoria.
Symbolism: Nobility, luxury, integrity, enchantment, individuality, fantasy, sophistication, passion.
Romantic message: I admire your uniqueness and have profound feelings for you.
Flower suggestions: Tulips, Hyacinth, Lavendar, Snapdragons, Sweet pea, Gladiolas, Lilacs, Orchids.
White
Milk, pearls, clouds or sugar, White is the combination of all colors. White flowers are classy, unique and often celebrate a successful beginning.
Symbolism: Purity, innocence, respect, commitment, reverence, unity, humility, cleanliness.
Romantic message: You are perfection. Our relationship is full of hope, promise and I have the deepest respect for you.
Flower suggestions: Tulips, Gardenias, Daisies, Dahlias, Lilies, Cosmos, Magnolias, Calla Lily, Narcissus, Peonies, Roses.
Black
Other than the dried or dyed, natural black flowers are probably slim to none. But, there are some flowers that come close – deep, red-black or deep, purple-black – giving black flowers a less negative connotation in exchange for a more seductively elusive one.
Symbolism: Sophistication, mystery.
Romantic message: Things between us are deliciously still mysterious. I want to keep diving into our full potential.
Flower suggestions: Black Beauty roses, Queen of Night tulips or Black Calla Lilies, Chocolate Cosmos, Bat Orchids, Black Hollyhock.
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10 Things To Learn About Yourself When Traveling Alone
10 Things To Learn About Yourself When Traveling Alone1. Responsibility
To take one’s life within one’s hands and have the freedom and maturity to mold it to one’s desires is to embrace this basic knowledge.The one thing carrying the most weight, the quality of personality that enabled you—the solo traveler—to get here in the first place, is responsibility.
To take one’s life within one’s hands and have the freedom and maturity to mold it into shapes, forms and experiences of one’s desires is to embrace this basic knowledge. On the actual day we take responsibility for ourselves, our lives begin to change.
We witness how we are responsible for everything we do—each thought, word, action and emotion. This acceptance of our own responsibility for the life we lead provides us with the power to change. We become the artists of our lives.
In the words of Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller, “Why should I deem myself to be a chisel when I could be the artist?”
2. Self-reliance
After the hurdle of self-responsibility there evolves a new respect and a new dimension toward living. Self-reliance is the response.
See it as the art of flotation after leaping into the air and clearing the hurdle of responsibility. It’s the sense of lightness and contentment. It’s a joy of accomplishment surpassing those worldly possessions left behind. “I am Lion! This is my Life! Hear me roar!”
3. Independence
Welcome to independence as you come down after the initial high and hit the ground running. You are now shaved of everything but your Self.
You are living your independence. No longer do you require anything other than yourself for happiness. No longer do you search for those outside fulfillments.
From the start, you were already alone. You were most likely in mother’s womb alone. And now you’re traveling, embracing this solitude, allowing you and only you to make all your decisions; what to eat, where to sleep, which train to catch and at what bus stop to depart.
You are the captain in your very own captain’s chair. Want to sleep in the middle of the day, read on a bench the rest of the afternoon, take long midnight strolls out under the stars? Fine. Do it, because no one is stopping you except your hesitation.
4. Likes & Dislikes
Traveling alone affords the individual solitude in order to step out of society’s role-playing games.Now through these various layers of your evolution of mental, physical, emotional and spiritual growth—the solo-wanderer comes to terms with likes and dislikes.
Traveling alone affords the individual solitude in order to step out of society’s role-playing games. It absolves all expectations of you. You don’t have to listen to anyone. You don’t have to meet anyone’s needs. You have no schedules, appointments, meetings or deadlines with projects, papers, exams, etc.
It’s just you. And through the sifter of the mind you begin to remember who you are, remember which elements and ingredients in life you enjoyed the most and those you enjoyed the least. Then, without hesitation (you must drop this), you leap upon the likes and forever discard the dislikes.
5. Emotions
Emotions are a combination of mind and body sending you messages. They tell you where you are on a physical and emotional level. They inform you where you need to be—again, physically and mentally—in order to be healthy and whole.
With a continued awareness of what turns you on and off, emotions arise. They are not your friend’s emotions, your roommate’s, or your lover’s no matter how you might wish otherwise. Those persons aren’t here. You’re alone.
Emotions are the parts to your totality—the inner psyche—and in seclusion may one best decipher their keys sounded from the past.
The solo-artist may come to terms with the depth of Ralph Waldo Emerson when he said, “None of us will ever accomplish anything excellent or commanding except when he listens to this whisper which is heard by him alone.”
6. Patterns & Reactions
Photo by Cam Karsten
Stepping out of our routines and daily lives clears the traveler’s vision. So often we live in the past or future. We do not stop to see and be the present moment—our present moment.
Indeed, it’s a gift, and to let this gift slide away over and over again is to miss the beauty of the day, the hour, of the minute and its seconds. They will never come again.
Patterns and our reactions to these patterns are what prevent us from living and taking part in the beauty we are gifted. By frolicking in the unknown we’re able to witness these patterns from afar and see how we react to them.
With a continued awareness we can prevent ourselves from falling into old habits and bygone ways. Each new day is our rebirth and each new breath can be as if we are inhaling for the very first time.
7. Past Analyzation
You’re soaking in the Andaman Sea off Thailand’s western shore. You see a woman walking the beach who reminds you of an old lover, a past friend, someone against whom you’ve carried a grudge for too long.
You’re alone. You have that isolation to observe your thoughts. Therefore, you reach deep into the past and sift through the relationship’s components.
These moments of past analyzation allow one to heal sore spots, to lick old wounds and overcome the pain still carrying into today, whether exhibited upon themselves or others.
Through this process of self-healing, the solo-sojourner may reunite with another and develop a more mature relationship; one more natural and unconditionally loving for the benefit of both parties, which includes the surrounding environs.
Past analyzation while traveling alone affords the adventurer a journey into the past to reclaim forgotten lessons and repressed emotions.
8. Future Dreams
The future is your dreams’ playground. It is imagination free of any construct built by the past and not portrayed by the present.Next we leap out of the past, through the flicker of the present and into the vastness of the future. Here, unfettered possibility rests. The future is boundless. It is borderless.
It is imagination free of any construct built by the past and not portrayed by the present. The future is your dreams’ playground.
During travel, see the future as everything and nothing. It’s your empty canvas, and there’s no better time to wallow in hopes, dreams and possibilities. So extract your journal and write, draw, scribble and dabble the imaginary creating anything the heart desires, no matter how selfish or selfless.
It’s the Law of Attraction - all that is necessary in life is asking, believing and then receiving with gratitude.
9. Care for Oneself
The above eight steps are not concrete. They are not rules or dictations. They are mere ideas thrown out into a world of utter possibility and endless variety.
In essence however, they are the steps of an evolutionary journey, which can be taken at anytime, anywhere, by anyone. Yet a personal journey is best undergone in the silence of one’s own presence, and traveling alone promotes this introspection with ease.
Solo travel teaches the pilgrim to care for their own self - because it’s only when one masters self-care that the individual will be able to advance. Only when peace is established at home will one be able to spread peace throughout the world.
10. How to Love
The finale is love itself. Love is the master. When living with love, all thought, word, action and emotion radiate from this core of our being—that being love.
Through solo-travel, and through the varying evolutionary processes of the pilgrim’s own psyche, he/she rides the expressway into the heart and splashes in an indescribable feeling of love and peace.
And from the words of one final sage upon the doorsteps of this last stage of personal growth spoken by Joseph Campbell, “You are that mystery which you are seeking to know.”
You are the love you first sought, whether conscious of it or not. Your personal journey, either in this lifetime or another in the future, will bring you to this center within yourself. Traveling alone upon a solo-quest is the perfect catalyst for this grand voyage given to the human being as a birthright.
So go find yourself in solitude where the inner landscapes of personality become most audible within a world of possibility.
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If you're waiting for things to happen, you may not be giving your full
attention to here, to now, to what's right before you.
Throw yourself into what's right in front of you for this weekend and
the next week to the best of your ability.
Try to be the best employee/entrepreneur, the best father/mother, the
best brother/sister, friend, significant other and see how becoming the
best you can be now can literally start to create the best future that
you really truly desire.
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