My boys are now six and ten. With sixteen years between them, they are ready to start taking some more responsibility for themselves and their surroundings. With that in mind, here are several zero-tolerance policies I’ve recently instituted:
- If I step on a stray Lego, and it’s not in one of the boys’ bedrooms, then it will find itself in a new home – in the garbage can.
- I will no longer tolerate complaints about the color or size of one’s cup and plate being somehow inferior to the color or size of one’s brother’s cup and plate.
- Wiping bottoms is a thing of the past. Only if a child has stomach flu does he need my help in cleaning up poop.
- Both boys know where we keep rolls of toilet paper. Both also know how to change a roll. Ergo: both will be handling that chore on their own — forthwith.
- If they’ve missed the toilet bowl (yet again), and there’s pee on the floor or the side of the tub, they know where to find both paper towels and spray cleaner.
- Gone are the days when I’ll help one of my sons look for a treasured lost toy only to find it sitting in plain view on his desk.
- If the boys whine about what’s for dinner, they will find themselves in their own rooms whining to the walls, and hungry to boot.
- If I am on the phone, they may talk over me only if the house is burning down. Or there are copious quantities of blood involved.
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