Japan Video Games Blog

TO THOSE WHO DON'T WANT THEIR WORK PROMOTED

Hey guys and gals! We FIND and PROMOTE people's work, we never take credit for things we haven't written, we just love sharing the things that are interesting, but if you don't want your work or pictures shown, please let me know and I'll take it off, we're not trying to harm any one here or infringe on anyone's copyrights, just late night entertainment for my friends and I after a long days of work.

We're not making money off the site, nor are we publishing anything to other places through feedburner claiming that it's our work, just a hobby of finding cool things around the internet, that's all. Sometimes we copy and paste too quickly and a link giving you credit doesn't appear, if that's the case and you DO want your work promoted, we will add in the backlink, we would love to give credit where credit is due!

Please contact me or drop a comment on any posts you guys don't want up and I'll take it off within 24 hours, thanks!

Saturday, March 15, 2008

healthy vs toxic love - GENIUS

Healthy vs. Toxic Love

Healthy Love Unhealthy or Toxic Love
   
Development of self first. Obsession with relationship.
Room to grow, expand; desire for other to grow. Security, comfort in sameness; intensity of need seen as proof of love (may really be fear, insecurity, loneliness)
Separate interests; other friends; maintain other meaningful relationships. Total involvement; limited social life; neglect old friends, interests.
Encouragement of each other's expanding; secure in own worth.  Preoccupation with other's behavior; fear of other changing.
Appropriate Trust (i.e. trusting partner to behave according to fundamental nature.)  Jealousy; possessiveness; fear of competition; protects "supply."
Compromise, negotiation or taking turns at leading. Problem solving together. Power plays for control; blaming; passive or aggressive manipulation.
Embracing of each other's individuality.  Trying to change other to own image.
Relationship deals with all aspects of reality. Relationship is based on delusion and avoidance of the unpleasant.
Self-care by both partners; emotional state not dependent on other's mood.  Expectation that one partner will fix and rescue the other.
Loving detachment (healthy concern about partner, while letting go.) Fusion (being obsessed with each other's problems and feelings.)
Sex is free choice growing out of caring & friendship.  Pressure around sex due to insecurity, fear & need for immediate gratification.
Ability to enjoy being alone.  Unable to endure separation; clinging.
Cycle of comfort and contentment. Cycle of pain and despair.
   
Source:
Beattie, Melody;  Co-Dependent No More
Burney, Robert;    Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls
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