The 50 Worst Things Parents Say To Their Kids
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Parenting isn’t easy. At the same time, it’s the most important thing we’ll ever do.
When you make the decision to have a child, you take on the responsibility of raising that child beyond the best of your ability. Let me clarify:
Parents always use the excuse, “I did the best I could.” Parenting is too important to simply do the best you can; the best you can is flawed from when your parents did they best they could.
Good parenting means learning from professionals and caring enough to go beyond trying. When you’re done, you want to be able to say, “I did it right”, not “I tried.”
Parent’s who “try” end up making huge mistakes. They don’t generally raise emotionally healthy children. And a trained ear can tell right off the bat what type of parent one is. How? The one’s doing a poor job always seem to be parenting from the same bad playbook.
Here are the fifty worst things you’ll hear parent’s say to their kids (and think theres nothing wrong with it):
1. “If you act like a baby, I’ll treat you like a baby.”
2. “Stop whining.”
3. “I don’t care” or “Nobody cares.”
4. “Stop crying” or “Big boys/girls don’t cry.”
5. “Shut up.”
6. “Grow up.”
7. “You’re being a brat.”
8. “There’s no reason to feel that way” or “You don’t feel that way.”
9. “You don’t have a choice.”
10. “I wish you were more like your brother/sister.”
11. “If you loved me, you wouldn’t do that.”
12. “You must hate me.”
13. “Your father/mother is a screw up/idiot.”
14. “Don’t be a wimp.”
15. “Don’t make me get your father to set you straight.”
16. “Are you stupid?”
17. “You’re spoiled.”
18. “I didn’t raise you that way.”
19. “How dare you talk to me like that.”
20. “Don’t get/be mad at me.”
21. “You’ll do as you’re told.”
22. “You’ll never be able to do that.”
23. “You’re just like you’re father/mother.” (in negative context)
24. “Are you trying to make me angry?”
25. “If you don’t stop that, I’m going to leave you here.”
26. “I’ll let it go this time.”
27. “Watch your mouth.”
28. “Don’t tell your mother/father.”
29. “You ought to be ashamed of yourself.”
30. “If you behaved yourself more, your mother/father wouldn’t get so mad at me.”
31. “We never wanted you anyway.”
32. “Children should be seen and not heard.”
33. “Let me do that for you.”
34. “What does your mother/father say about me?”
35. “Get out of my sight.”
36. “I wish I never had you.”
37. “If you don’t stop crying, I’ll give you something to cry about.”
38. “Because I said so, that’s why.”
39. “I don’t care what your mother/father said.”
40. “Then I guess you’d better get a different mom/dad.”
41. “What’s wrong with you?”
42. “You make me sick.”
43. “I don’t like/love you right now or when you do that.”
44. “Act your age.”
45. “What will your friends/teacher/grandparents/my friends think?”
46. “I thought you were smarter than that.”
47. “You/we have to impress [person].”
48. “You’ll never amount to anything.”
49. “You’re getting on my nerves/annoying me.”
50. “Do you want a spanking?”
Try to avoid these phrases at all costs. If you catch yourself using one, the best thing to do is immediately apologize and explain to your child that what you said was not nice or appropriate. This validates them and teaches them that they should not use the phrase either.
Remember, being a good parent is as much about self control as it is about knowledge and technique. We all get frustrated, angry, and sad at times; the difference between good parents and bad parents is the ability to remain calm and understanding rather than reactive and emotional.
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