Parenting Selection Criteria - Part I | JUST 4 FAMILIES

Before deciding to become a parent, please check the following selection criteria.

Mothers:

Incubator: Temporary position (aprox 9 months). Full Time. On Duty 24/7. Must be able to withstand constant feeling of nausea, thirst and associated need for urination, possible swollen feet and legs, cramping and mood changes. At conclusion of contract must be prepared for up to 30 hours physical effort and associated pain. May be required to undertake surgery.

Wet Nurse: Temporary position (up to 5 years). Full Time. On Duty 24/7. Must be able to provide sufficient quantities of fresh milk on demand. If you are not able to produce sufficient quantities, you must be prepared to clean, sterilize and prepare sufficient quantities of formula. Must be able to gauge when solids can be introduced. Must be prepared to change nappies (diapers) at frequent intervals. Must be able to operate on little or no sleep.

Nurses Aide: Permanent position - you may be required to continue in this position well into your retirement. On Duty 24/7. Must be able to nurse individuals through many different illnesses, both actual and perceived. Duties also include cleaning up after food and drink expulsions from either end of the individual. Note, you will be nursing patients who may be suffering highly contagious conditions.

Doctor: Permanent position - you may be required to continue in this position well into your retirement. Must be able to diagnose illnesses both actual and perceived. Must be able to determine when more specialist intervention is required.

Cook: Permanent position. Must be able to provide a variety of tasty and nutritious meals for a variety of individuals. This role may include spontaneous meals for unexpected drop ins.

Counselor: Permanent position. This role includes mediation, providing advice and guidance, breaking up fights and disputes, negotiating outcomes between siblings and the other parent. This position requires the use of tact and forcefulness.

Teacher: Permanent position. Must be able to teach manners, etiquette, languages, maths and all other school based subjects. Must be able to teach young individuals the skills of life.

Accountant: Permanent position. Must be able to provide all of the above while maintaining strict control of finances. Must be able to withstand the demands for cash from offspring. These demands will continue until well after your death. You must be able to plan for these eventualities.

All of the above are required along with an ability to continue on with your life and perhaps your career. Some positions will require lifetime commitments. You must be able to undertake all these activities whilst happily watching your child free friends enjoy their freedom.

If you are not prepared for all of the above, then your not prepared for the role of mother.

Tomorrow - selection criteria for fathers.

Parenting Selection Criteria - Part I | JUST 4 FAMILIES

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