YOU KNOW YOU'RE TRAILER PARK TRASH WHEN:
The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse. | |
You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. | |
You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. | |
You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night. | |
Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people." | |
You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean. | |
Anyone in your family ever died right after saying: "Hey watch this." | |
You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader. | |
Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan. | |
Your junior prom had a day-care. | |
You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen, start your engines." | |
You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its | |
The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it. | |
You have to go outside to get something from the fridge. | |
One of your kids was born on a pool table. | |
You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos. | |
You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it | |
You think "loaded dishwasher" means your wife is drunk. | |
Your toilet paper has page numbers on it. | |
Your front porch collapses and kills more than five dogs |
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